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You are here: Home / Blog / Essential Seduction Book List

Essential Seduction Book List

January 5, 2009 By Justin "JDOG" 11 Comments

I consider the books listed here to be extremely important if you truly wish to have a better understanding of women, attraction, and relationships. The value of the knowledge contained within these pages I simply can’t stress enough, and of equal or greater importance to improving your “skills” with women.

Well if you want to learn how to meet women, more women, or just become a better seducer, then read these books. Just pick one for now, and make a commitment to read it.

These are a selection of the books from my own personal library, that I consider to have been fundamental in changing my perceptions about women, dating, and the art of attraction.

Do you want to improve your dating life?
Do you want more beautiful women in your life?
Do you wish to be a better seducer?
Do you want to learn how to pick up women?

..then start reading one of these books THIS WEEK!

“The Selfish Gene,” by Richard Dawkins”

REVIEW (from Amazon.com)

Inheriting the mantle of revolutionary biologist from Darwin, Watson, and Crick, Richard Dawkins forced an enormous change in the way we see ourselves and the world with the publication of The Selfish Gene. Suppose, instead of thinking about organisms using genes to reproduce themselves, as we had since Mendel’s work was rediscovered, we turn it around and imagine that “our” genes build and maintain us in order to make more genes. That simple reversal seems to answer many puzzlers which had stumped scientists for years, and we haven’t thought of evolution in the same way since.
Why are there miles and miles of “unused” DNA within each of our bodies? Why should a bee give up its own chance to reproduce to help raise her sisters and brothers? With a prophet’s clarity, Dawkins told us the answers from the perspective of molecules competing for limited space and resources to produce more of their own kind. Drawing fascinating examples from every field of biology, he paved the way for a serious re-evaluation of evolution. He also introduced the concept of self-reproducing ideas, or memes, which (seemingly) use humans exclusively for their propagation. If we are puppets, he says, at least we can try to understand our strings. ~ Rob Lightner

“The Red Queen: Sex and the Evolution of Human Nature,” by Matt Ridley

REVIEW (from Publishers Weekly)

Why do we have sex? One of the main biological reasons, contends Ridley, is to combat disease. By constantly combining and recombining genes every generation, people “keep their genes one step ahead of their parasites,” thereby strengthening resistance to bacteria and viruses that cause deadly diseases or epidemics. Called the “Red Queen Theory” by biologists after the chess piece in Lewis Carroll’s Through the Looking-Glass which runs but stays in the same place, this hypothesis is just one of the controversial ideas put forth in this witty, elegantly written inquiry. Ridley, a London-based science writer and a former editor of the Economist , argues that men are polygamous for the obvious reason that whichever gender has to spend the most time and energy creating and rearing offspring tends to avoid extra mating. Women, though far less interested in multiple partners, will commit adultery if stuck with a mediocre mate. In Ridley’s not wholly convincing conclusion, even human intellect is chalked up to sex: virtuosity, individuality, inventiveness and related traits are what make people sexually attractive. Photos. BOMC and QPB alternates. – Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

“Sperm Wars: Infidelity, Sexual Conflict, and Other Bedroom Battles,” by Robin Baker

REVIEW (from Amazon)

Phew. Evolutionary biology meets erotica in explosive expose of everyone’s secret sexual agenda. From the co-originator of the sperm competition theory (which explains why what goes on between sperm in a woman’s reproductive tract has heavy bearing on relationships between men and women), a shattering blockbuster featuring sex, gender politics, masturbation, infidelity, love and death interwoven in vignettes of somewhat gratuitous explicitness. Science may never be the same again. ~ Kirkus, UK.

“Blink,” by Malcolm Gladwell

REVIEW (from Amazon.com)

Blink is about the first two seconds of looking–the decisive glance that knows in an instant. Gladwell, the best-selling author of The Tipping Point, campaigns for snap judgments and mind reading with a gift for translating research into splendid storytelling. Building his case with scenes from a marriage, heart attack triage, speed dating, choking on the golf course, selling cars, and military maneuvers, he persuades readers to think small and focus on the meaning of “thin slices” of behavior. The key is to rely on our “adaptive unconscious”–a 24/7 mental valet–that provides us with instant and sophisticated information to warn of danger, read a stranger, or react to a new idea.

Gladwell includes caveats about leaping to conclusions: marketers can manipulate our first impressions, high arousal moments make us “mind blind,” focusing on the wrong cue leaves us vulnerable to “the Warren Harding Effect” (i.e., voting for a handsome but hapless president). In a provocative chapter that exposes the “dark side of blink,” he illuminates the failure of rapid cognition in the tragic stakeout and murder of Amadou Diallo in the Bronx. He underlines studies about autism, facial reading and cardio uptick to urge training that enhances high-stakes decision-making. In this brilliant, cage-rattling book, one can only wish for a thicker slice of Gladwell’s ideas about what Blink Camp might look like. ~ Barbara Mackoff

“The Tipping Point: How Little Things Can Make a Big Difference,” by Malcolm Gladwell

REVIEW (from Amazon.com)

“The best way to understand the dramatic transformation of unknown books into bestsellers, or the rise of teenage smoking, or the phenomena of word of mouth or any number of the other mysterious changes that mark everyday life,” writes Malcolm Gladwell, “is to think of them as epidemics. Ideas and products and messages and behaviors spread just like viruses do.” Although anyone familiar with the theory of memetics will recognize this concept, Gladwell’s The Tipping Point has quite a few interesting twists on the subject.
For example, Paul Revere was able to galvanize the forces of resistance so effectively in part because he was what Gladwell calls a “Connector”: he knew just about everybody, particularly the revolutionary leaders in each of the towns that he rode through. But Revere “wasn’t just the man with the biggest Rolodex in colonial Boston,” he was also a “Maven” who gathered extensive information about the British. He knew what was going on and he knew exactly whom to tell. The phenomenon continues to this day–think of how often you’ve received information in an e-mail message that had been forwarded at least half a dozen times before reaching you.

Gladwell develops these and other concepts (such as the “stickiness” of ideas or the effect of population size on information dispersal) through simple, clear explanations and entertainingly illustrative anecdotes, such as comparing the pedagogical methods of Sesame Street and Blue’s Clues, or explaining why it would be even easier to play Six Degrees of Kevin Bacon with the actor Rod Steiger. Although some readers may find the transitional passages between chapters hold their hands a little too tightly, and Gladwell’s closing invocation of the possibilities of social engineering sketchy, even chilling, The Tipping Point is one of the most effective books on science for a general audience in ages. It seems inevitable that “tipping point,” like “future shock” or “chaos theory,” will soon become one of those ideas that everybody knows–or at least knows by name. ~ Ron Hogan

“The Art of Seduction,” by Robert Greene

REVIEW (from Library Journal)

Touted as a “handbook on the most subtle and effective form of power” and “an indispensable primer on how to take what you want from whomever you want,” this book is more than a little creepy. Following on the heels of his 48 Laws of Power, this book continues Greene’s gross exploration of social power, this time in the realm of sexual politics. In Part 1, Greene, again paired with “packager” Joost Elffers (Play with Your Food), offers a straight-faced description of the nine types of seductive character, from the “Ideal Lover” to the “Rake.” Elffers’s contribution comes in the form of numerous quotes by famous contemporary and historical figures tucked into the side margins. Part 2 examines the process of seduction, subdivided into four phases, with chapter headings such as “Master the Art of Insinuation” and “Isolate the Victim.” This book will have real appeal for power mongers, gold diggers, and heartless manipulators everywhere. Books such as Beverley East’s Finding Mr. Write (LJ 5/1/00) and Jama Clark’s What the Hell Do Women Really Want? (Island Flower, 1997) offer advice on the same subject without the distasteful exploitative emphasis. ~ David Valencia, King Cty. Lib. Syst., WA – Copyright 2001 Reed Business Information, Inc.

“The Fine Art Of Erotic Talk: How To Entice, Excite, And Enchant Your Lover With Words,” by Bonnie Gabriel

REVIEW (from Amazon.com customer)

“Candid, practical, and warm. A unique erotic approach., February 15, 1997, by a customer” – The author’s convincing premise is that romance and sexual pleasure depend on our imagination, and the imagination is fired by our verbal as well as our physical caresses. The unique thing about this book is the focus on how we use words to make love. For a small book, the coverage is remarkably comprehensive, yet it is informal, very candid, and warm, not cold and clinical. “The Fine Art of Erotic Talk” covers such diverse elements as vocal qualities, speaking rhythm, word selection, different contexts for using erotic language, and how language relates to different variations of sexual games. The result of this remarkable scope is a highly unique self-development program for erotic communication and improving sexual pleasure. This is one that will delight the budding romantic in just about anyone

“Emotional Intelligence: Why It Can Matter More Than IQ,” by Daniel Goleman

REVIEW (from Publishers Weekly)

New York Times science writer Goleman argues that our emotions play a much greater role in thought, decision making and individual success than is commonly acknowledged. He defines “emotional intelligence”?a trait not measured by IQ tests?as a set of skills, including control of one’s impulses, self-motivation, empathy and social competence in interpersonal relationships. Although his highly accessible survey of research into cognitive and emotional development may not convince readers that this grab bag of faculties comprise a clearly recognizable, well-defined aptitude, his report is nevertheless an intriguing and practical guide to emotional mastery. In marriage, emotional intelligence means listening well and being able to calm down. In the workplace, it manifests when bosses give subordinates constructive feedback regarding their performance. Goleman also looks at pilot programs in schools from New York City to Oakland, Calif., where kids are taught conflict resolution, impulse control and social skills. – Copyright 1995 Reed Business Information, Inc.

“Social Intelligence: The New Science of Human Relationships,” by Daniel Goleman

REVIEW (from Scientific American)

We all recognize a special capacity that humans have—some more so than others—to connect with others in a deep and direct way. We see this quality expressed by a performer revving a crowd, a doctor healing a patient or a mother putting a child to sleep. To orchestrate these tasks, a person must sense and stimulate the reactions and mood of another. In 1995 Daniel Goleman, a Harvard University–trained psychologist and writer for the New York Times, published Emotional Intelligence, in which he discussed the human ability “to manage our own emotions and inner potential for positive relationships.” Now he goes a step further. In Social Intelligence, he enlarges his scope to encompass our human abilities to connect with one another. “We are wired to connect,” Goleman says. “Neuroscience has discovered that our brain’s very design makes it sociable, inexorably drawn into an intimate brain-to-brain linkup whenever we engage with another person. That neural bridge lets us affect the brain—and so the body—of everyone we interact with, just as they do us.” Each encounter between people primes the emotions. This neurological pas de deux stimulates our nervous systems, affecting hormones, heart rate, circulation, breathing and the immune system.

Goleman peppers his discourse with anecdotes to illustrate the power of social intelligence. From the countertop of Rosie Garcia, a multitasking baker in New York’s Grand Central Terminal, to the tantrum-tainted class of a Texas teacher, he shows how social sensitivity and wisdom can profoundly reshape conflicts. In one encounter in Iraq, a quick-witted U.S. commander turned a Muslim mob’s threats into laughter when he ordered his soldiers to kneel, lower rifl es and smile—averting a potentially fatal clash. Goleman deftly discusses relevant neural pathways, including the thalamus and amygdala, which together regulate sensory and arousal stimuli. He speaks of spindle cells, which rapidly process social decisions; of mirror neurons, which sense another’s movements; of dopamine neurons, which react to pleasure-inducing neurotransmitters that flow freely while two lovers gaze. The author’s introductory tour through this emerging research landscape helps readers grasp core concepts of social neuroscience, illustrating abstractions with poignant anecdotes, without excessive jargon. Goleman also explains how such research may influence our lives. Given our socially reactive brains, we must “be wise,” he says, and be aware of the ways that our moods influence the biology of each life we touch. ~ Rick Lipkin

“The Evolution Of Desire,” by David M. Buss

REVIEW (from Publishers Weekly)

In the pursuit of a mate, women prefer men who possess money, resources, power and high social status, while men tend to seek attractive, youthful women who will remain sexually faithful. This finding emerged from a global survey by Buss and colleagues of 10,047 persons in 37 cultures, from Australia to Zambia. Women and men are often at cross-purposes in mate selection, sexual relations and affairs. In a provocative study, Buss, a University of Michigan psychology professor, attributes these differences to ingrained psychological mechanisms which he argues are universal across cultures and rooted in each gender’s adaptive responses over millennia of human evolution. One area, however, where Buss finds common ground between men and women is in their ruthless use of deception, sexual display and denigration of rivals in the pursuit of a partner. – Copyright 1994 Reed Business Information, Inc.

“The Alchemy of Love and Lust,” by Theresa L. Crenshaw

REVIEW (from Amazon.com customer)

Do you want to know what makes men and woman tick?, how they work on the inside?, what chemistry really is? – then look no further. This book is extremely revealing in that ive learnt that even an intimate cuddle can produce a chemical called oxytocin. And thats not all your learn. You will learn much more than a few buzz words in this book, what they are, how they are generated by the body and affected by external elements too – I highly recommend it to anyone that is even the slightest curious about all those feel good chemicals that our bodies produce during cuddling, menopause and even orgasm – its all in here. I found this an excellent book and companion resource for my NLP and psychology study.

“Prometheus Rising,” by Robert Anton Wilson

REVIEW (from Amazon.com customer)

In Promethues Rising, Robert Anton Wilson tells you how to alter your brain in a positive fashion. He teaches you to see the world differently, though not necessarily his way. What he has done is written a book which demonstrates how the human miund can be either used for freedom or slavery. The choice is up to us.

Using Leary’s model of the Eight Circuit nervous system Wilson explain such things as patriotism, brainwashing, and morality. He then systematically shows you how to brainwash yourself for fun and profit. The exercises are the main benefit of the book. This is taking into account all the uselful information he provides on each circuit, along with corespondences to the Tarot and James Joyce.

Wilson’s hopeful outlook and crazy sense of humor keep the book moving through material that could, in the hands of a less skillfull writer, be hard to wade through. The only danger is that some readers might mistake his light hearted approach as a sign that he can’t be taken seriously.

Really, the world has gone through enough blunders and attempt to change it “for the better”. The answer is to change yourself first, then reach out to others. This book is one way of beginning that process.

REVIEW (from Amazon.com customer)

This book explains human experience in terms of biological circuits and imprints. It is one “model” of the experience and as such it is interesting and it is valid. Together with the outline and explanation of different imprints and how they are formed, Wilson provides exercises so that the reader can come to his own conclusions through his own experience. After all, the only way to truly understand something is through experience – the rest will remain mere theory and speculation.

As the popular motto in quantum physics goes: “the expectations of the Observer determine the outcome of the experiment.”

“Outliers: The Story of Success,” by Malcolm Gladwell

REVIEW (from Amazon.com)

Amazon Best of the Month, November 2008: Now that he’s gotten us talking about the viral life of ideas and the power of gut reactions, Malcolm Gladwell poses a more provocative question in Outliers: why do some people succeed, living remarkably productive and impactful lives, while so many more never reach their potential? Challenging our cherished belief of the “self-made man,” he makes the democratic assertion that superstars don’t arise out of nowhere, propelled by genius and talent: “they are invariably the beneficiaries of hidden advantages and extraordinary opportunities and cultural legacies that allow them to learn and work hard and make sense of the world in ways others cannot.” Examining the lives of outliers from Mozart to Bill Gates, he builds a convincing case for how successful people rise on a tide of advantages, “some deserved, some not, some earned, some just plain lucky.”

Outliers can be enjoyed for its bits of trivia, like why most pro hockey players were born in January, how many hours of practice it takes to master a skill, why the descendents of Jewish immigrant garment workers became the most powerful lawyers in New York, how a pilots’ culture impacts their crash record, how a centuries-old culture of rice farming helps Asian kids master math. But there’s more to it than that. Throughout all of these examples–and in more that delve into the social benefits of lighter skin color, and the reasons for school achievement gaps–Gladwell invites conversations about the complex ways privilege manifests in our culture. He leaves us pondering the gifts of our own history, and how the world could benefit if more of our kids were granted the opportunities to fulfill their remarkable potential. ~ Mari Malcolm

“Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion,” by Robert B. Cialdini

REVIEW (from Amazon.com customer)

He introduces you to six principles of ethical persuasion: reciprocity, scarcity, liking, authority, social proof, and commitment/consistency. A chapter is devoted to each and you quickly see why Cialdini looks at influence as a science. Each principle is backed by social scientific testing and restesting. Each chapter is also filled with interesting examples that help you see how each principle can be applied. By the end of the book, I had little doubt that these are six important dimensions of human interaction.

REVIEW (from Amazon.com):

Arguably the best book ever on what is increasingly becoming the science of persuasion. Whether you’re a mere consumer or someone weaving the web of persuasion to urge others to buy or vote for your product, this is an essential book for understanding the psychological foundations of marketing. Recommended.

“The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” by Stephen R. Covey

REVIEW (by JDOG)

I first saw the 7 Habits in a Barnes and Noble around 2000, and thought it might be useful for my engineering business. Other than hearing the occasional reference to it and to Stephen Covey I had no idea what it was about. The principles he covers certainly rang true such as for; being more effective, being ethical, and the pitfall of getting bogged down by putting out continual fires, such that you stop developing your actual business.

His 7 Habits are as he says common sense, but not necessarily common practice. Thinking Win/Win and Seeking to Understand certainly resonated with me. I have had too much experience in business where people are so Win/Lose oriented. From ego driven peers in the dating community, to business managers of fortune 100 companies treating their customers like the enemy. Customers I might add who are spending $100 million to $500 million on telecom infrastructure and technical services!

Emotional maturity applies to business, just as it applies to our personal lives.

Where this book really shined for me was actually on a personal level. My girlfriend had left me at a difficult emotional time. She was my first girlfriend, and the overwhelming sense of loss I felt lead me to work though my personal demons. Covey talks about the Emotional Bank Account. Simple and logical as it may be I’d never heard anyone talk about it, and well let’s just say that when I was younger I was extremely good at depleting the emotional bank account of those who cared about me. For this reason alone it helped me a great deal with my ongoing journey of emotional maturity.

“Undercover Sex Signals: A Pickup Guide For Guys,” by Leil Lowndes

Recommended by several friends in the Arizona Seduction Lair (ArizonaPUA.com)

I have not personally read this book, so you can tell me if it’s any good. However, my colleagues tell me that it covers non-verbal signals quite well. Lowndes may not term them as IOI’s (Indicators Of Interest) or AI’s (Approach Invitations) or Submission Signals, but she describes them non the less, and in great detail apparently.

I do know from my experience teaching that most guys are very weak at picking up on girl’s signals. When watching students it never ceases to amaze me how fast they could progress thing with the girl if they only picked up on her IOI’s faster.

Filed Under: Blog, Dating Advice Tagged With: book

Comments

  1. RileyDayne says

    January 6, 2009 at 12:34 am

    Thanks for the list JDog,

    I’ve read most of these and they truly are fantastic books!

    They influenced my life in more ways than you could ever imagine.

    If any of you have read most of these and are looking for more, I would highly reccomend “Influence: The Psychology of Persuasion,” In my opinion the best book ever written regarding persuasion/influence.

    Its an amazing read, truly eye opening to the suddle cues that we base our decisions on.

    And if there are any Malcolm Gladwell fan’s here (“Blink”, “Tipping Point”). You Might want to check out “Outliers,” its his most recent book and explains the science of success.

    Really Great.

    Once again great list JDog,

    Riley Dayne

    Reply
    • Justin "JDOG" Marks says

      January 6, 2009 at 2:52 am

      Cheers Riley! Yep the two you mention are excellent also and now added to the list. I’ll post another recommended reading list in a month or two. Cialdini’s “Influence” certainly needed a mention here.. he coined the term Social Proof, now so widely adopted by PUA’s.

      Reply
    • MonkeyMind says

      January 6, 2009 at 3:14 am

      7 habits by covey .. main lesson perhaps be proactive, be real

      Although he could have taken a tenth of the pages to get the message through (same with blink), it still is a good read.

      Reply
  2. MonkeyMind says

    January 6, 2009 at 3:26 am

    As an afterthought .. I really prefer jdog’s reviews over amazon. Even if this means less quantity, writing reviews is more time consuming and jdog’s time is understandably scarce, it could improve this part of askjdog considerably.

    Reply
    • Justin "JDOG" Marks says

      January 6, 2009 at 4:16 am

      Thanks for the feedback MonkeyMind. I added the 7 Habits.. and a personal review.. yep I would rather write my own thoughts, with a slant towards how they help with dating and relationships. I will be writing articles where I reference these and other books in more detail.

      Reply
  3. CRUZZER says

    January 9, 2009 at 7:39 am

    Do you have any films you suggest?

    I always recommend beginners to also watch. Aside from these many of these books, The Peaceful Warrior is one I constantly tell people about. I tell them you can’t live in this moment, than you are not living.

    When you can freeze in your mind frame by frame when you are in PUA, like he does in the movie, you can critique your sticking points real easy.

    Reply
  4. Brodel says

    January 13, 2009 at 8:45 pm

    WOW

    I have some reading to do. I have only read two of them. I just have to finish reading Blow first.. great book

    Reply
  5. Will Smith says

    March 20, 2009 at 8:28 pm

    Looks like to “seduce” women you have to squash the human soul. Dawkins Damn’t!

    Reply
  6. Longshot says

    March 26, 2009 at 5:46 am

    Hey, want to think different? Everyone lists The Selfish Gene, The Red Queen … but try taking a look at The Moral Animal. That book blows my mind.

    -Longshot

    Reply
  7. PUA says

    September 16, 2011 at 7:57 am

    Hi, 

    Thanks guys for post.

    Reply

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