Direct Opener By A Natural

picking up a girl while she's driving

“Picking Up A Younger Woman While She’s Driving.”

I was exchanging stories with a friend recently on the topic of how we met some of our girlfriends. If I could bottle my friend’s attitude and sell that to you I would definitely make a fortune. He is what most people would call a “natural,” as in he’s a natural with women. Just having lunch with him the other day he couldn’t help himself flirt casually with the sexiest woman that walked in.

He wasn’t distracted from the conversation. I didn’t feel like he was mentally in another place. You know when you are trying to talk with someone and they are obviously not present. He just intuitively made a comment to her as she walked past us to the counter. She smiled back, and he picked it up again as she was leaving. It’s this kind of natural and casual ease that I try to instill in my students.

For sake of privacy let’s call my friend Ron. Okay, so ‘Ron’ used to work in the airline industry, and needless to say that delving into his many encounters would take quite some time. Honestly, some of his stories from those days may be too outrageous even for my readers! What follows however is how he met his last girlfriend.

He had just come out of the gym looking a tad disheveled, when he spotted a rather attractive woman walking briskly across the parking lot. There was no time to catch up to her as she was getting into her convertible, and driving away.

Ron’s gym is situated inside a resort hotel, and there was a shortcut through the hotel that allowed him to walk to the hotel entrance before she had left the parking lot. He literally makes a run for it! Having arrived at the entrance/exit just as she was pulling up at the stop sign, Ron casually walks past her car, initiates the chat with something innocuous such as, “perfect weather for driving with the top down.” He gives her that natural confident, and slightly cheeky smile of his. She agrees, and maintains good eye contact with him, but then starts to drive off.

So with nothing to lose Ron shouts after her, “Hey if you’re not doing anything later then I’ll be in Fox’s having a drink tonight about 8’o clock.. I’ll be there anyway tonight, you should stop by. She shouted back about having to be somewhere and not sure what time she would be back. He repeated, “Fox’s at 8.. I’ll be there anyway!”

She drives away.. he walks off.

As it turns out he ended up with other plans that night, and forgot all about going to the Fox bar & restaurant. The next night however, he does just happen to stop off there for a drink. It’s early evening, a few groups of people dotted about the bar. Ron scans the room confidently while walking in. Just who do you think happens to be there.. the mystery woman from the parking lot. She was talking with not one, but two gentlemen. The three of them standing at one of those taller bar tables.

Good old Ron wastes no time at all. Mystery lady was facing away from the door so she hadn’t seen him. Ron walks past the table as if he hadn’t noticed her. He walks past on her side, opposite side from the two guys. When he’s just barely past the table he looks around at the people as one naturally might.

Her eyes dart up for a brief moment, but that was all he needed. He stopped, and gave her a slightly puzzled look. You know that look that you give someone when you think you recognize them. “Wait.. I know you,” he says with a smile. “From the parking lot, right? How was your outing?”

Ron confides in me at this point that he really didn’t expect her to remember him as when he chased down her car in that parking lot he was in ratty old, sweaty gym clothes. Whereas now he was dressed pretty smart for the evening.

The first thing she retorted was, “So where were you the other night?” Apparently, she had actually turned up at the bar sometime around 8pm! By this point he had walked up to the table, and was leaning against it talking directly with her. Just ignoring the other guys. Ron kept chatting with the lady, and they had an instant date. The other two guys walked away shortly after Ron joined the table.

Following that encounter they ended up in a relationship for almost a year.

By the way.. he’s 52!

I think this is an excellent example of a natural’s direct approach. To wrap up I’m just going to point out some of the differences between “indirect game” and this natural direct type of approach. Neither way is necessarily better than the other. It really depends upon the circumstances and logistics of where you meet the girl in question.

You will also find that some approaches tend to work better for you personally. My advice is to open with both ways a large number of times until you develop that sense for what works best in a variety of situations. Discover what works most consistently for you.

To further differentiate Ron’s style from a “trained” pickup artist.. He was direct and confident the whole time. He definitely exudes a sexual masculinity that women pick up on, from his subtly cheeky smile to his sexual gaze. You can see him undressing her with his eyes, but not in a creepy way.. in the right way, that women instantly pick up on.

There were no crazy stories reiterated to the woman, no false opinion opener, no false time constraint. He didn’t open the obstacles when at the bar, instead ignoring them completely. This is in essence the confident direct and natural approach.