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I am breaking down some of the finer points of sexual flirtation, when meeting and dating women. I keep things in simple terms, and show several real life interactions with an old girlfriend of mine. Watch for the natural flirtatious flow back and forth between the two of us. In fact you may want to watch this several times.
Sexual escalation is a combination of leading from casual comfort & superficial flirtation.. to more intimate touch, and an interaction that progresses with a more sexual tone. This sexually charged flirtatious dance is a natural process. Whether it’s more playful in nature as is often the case with my personality style, or more intense in nature that is perhaps more James Bond.. the underlying principles are the same.
- Use of language to sexually tease, make her laugh, or imply sexual themes.
- Notice her response, even very subtle positive indicators are a green light.
- If her response is positive (she gives you an indicator of interest, such as laughing, holding eye contact, initiating touch, flicking her hair, etc.) then touch her in a confident and comfortable manner. You could tell her something interesting about women’s rings or fingers, while demonstrating on her hand. This can be very sexy, and yet very safe and comfortable.
- Roll off to allow a brief cool down moment. This maintains a woman’s level of comfort. It is also part of the natural sexual dance that should flow back and forth in the mating game. This is also a moment of reflection on her part, albeit subconscious on how much she enjoyed your touch, how excited she was, how turned on she was, and yet how comfortable she is around you. She wants more. It becomes a moment of anticipation.
This little process repeats and you are now sexually escalating. Of course the danger is to progress too far in an inopportune place, such as the bar or coffee shop where you meet for the first time.
Why is progressing too fast, even with maintained comfort, generally a bad thing? I don’t know if you’ve ever met a girl in a club or on a dance floor, and made out with her, or perhaps did the bump and grind thing on the dance floor. Only to have her flake on you and never see you again.
If you progress too far then a woman is able to get powerfully sexually validated in an exciting public environment, while staying in her safe zone. She is safe because nothing is actually going to happen with you there. Women will do this even when they are not particularly attracted to a guy, and therefore have no intention of seeing the guy again from the get go. Alternatively, they may actually like you, but once things progress too far in that location the thought of seeing you again can make her feel awkward. If this happens she may avoid further contact with you.
Many guys miss these principles of progressing things in the right manner. Acting like a horny dog by pushing forwards with more aggressive touchy feely behaviour, often leads to the girl feeling discomfort. A women can be attracted to a guy one minute, and then turned off the next if she feels he is not connecting with her. If she senses he is only interested in her as a sex object. The exception being women looking for a one night stand, or some more overtly sexual women such as exotic dancers perhaps who don’t necessarily value emotional connection.