Find Something Beautiful About Yourself

It’s all too easy to pick fault with ourselves, whether that’s by second guessing our decisions, or by dwelling on our insecurities. I’ve been writing lately about various aspects of Inner Game, from dealing with Approach Anxiety to pushing through the discomfort of rejection.

On a similar track my mind was day dreaming today about a certain woman. Pondering the beauty of a woman is an all too easy pass time for me. From the soft lines of her face, to the allure of her eyes.. her full lips that I can’t stop thinking about.. I kept glancing at them when she was talking to me. Her smooth skin.. the curves of her body. Deep breath…….aaaannd continue.. In fact if we didn’t have to talk to each other I could happily have a conversation in my own head while gazing at a woman’s beauty.. hmm and I could quite easily do that right now, so before I completely lose my train of thought here.. What does she see in me? What can she see in me? Does she have to like my physical looks? Can she feel these types of feelings towards any aspect of me? ..and perhaps most importantly.. Do I like me?

What is there about me that she can find beautiful in some way, if I were to look through her eyes, and listen through her ears? This doesn’t have to be about physical looks either. However, I am of the opinion that once you start connecting with someone, you do start to change the way you see them to some extent. Your perception of their beauty actually changes. If you really connect then they appear more attractive to you overall, and you feel more comfortable in their company. On the flip side, when someone’s personality is off in some way, or they fundamentally conflict with your core values, then you may perceive that person as less attractive. Can you think of times in your own life when either of these were true? Take a moment to think about this, before you continue to follow along with what I’m saying. Read more

Interesting Video On Being Beautiful

What are your thoughts about this video? Post your comments below!

I have a question for you. How well do you truly understand women? More specifically, do you have any idea what it’s really like to be a very beautiful woman? How does she feel inside from being stared at wherever she goes?

Does she get tired of being hit on constantly, but at other times find herself seeking the validation she is so used to? What are her frustrations, anxieties, and difficulties that arise just because she is more attractive? Or is her life perfect 100% of the time, because let’s face it most guys will do anything for her, right?

Unless you have dated a few desirable women then I would think that you wouldn’t really understand the reality of what it’s like to be a woman of particular beauty. If you have studied the female mind, and enough seduction related materials then perhaps you have started to get some insight, but without spending a lot of time around beautiful women, either as a platonic friend (by your own choice,) or through dating, then it’s difficult to have a deep understanding.

I remember several years ago seeing part of a Dr. Phil show, where a stunningly beautiful women, who seemed on the surface to have an idyllic life, just completely broke down on camera. I didn’t get it at the time. I didn’t get that her life could be anything other than perfect. Most people find it difficult to relate to the problems that come alongside beauty. Much in the same way that beautiful women have no concept as to what it’s like being an average, or less than average looking guy. She has no frame of reference. She doesn’t need one though, as she’s not trying to get with the average guy.

Attractive women may get what they want a lot of the time, and they might get treated better than most, but there is a flip side. She has to screen through mountains of men who fake kindness and sincerity, to find the ones who are genuine. Does she find that she frequently gets played by the high valued men in her life? She may find it constantly more difficult in the work place, and not because of men, but because other women are jealous of her looks, and therefore make her life difficult. There may be an emotional separation between her and her best girlfriend. She always gets the attention from guys, who directly hit on her, while treating her girlfriend like chopped liver. This causes difficulties, and is one of the reasons why we say to open the friend first. Win the friends over before focusing your attention on the hottest girl in the group. Realize that there are a myriad other difficulties attractive women face.

Is she brushing you off because she dislikes you personally? Or is she tired of having 12 guys hit on her today with lame approaches, and no obvious regard for her as a person? Perhaps she just needs to make the best use of her time, and has programmed herself to shut down certain advances form ANY guy. Think twice before calling her a bitch.

Understanding her reality will skyrocket your chances of getting further with her. When women feel that you understand their world they will instantly be set at ease, and they will want to connect with you. It is the rarity. It was my good friend Ross Jeffries who first shared this concept with me. Ross calls it “Being An Authority On Her World.” If conveys so many positives about you. She will think, “wow, this guy really gets me!” She will know that you must have dated a lot of beautiful women, therefore there is unstated preselection being conveyed. For you Mystery Method guys out there that would be a DHV (Displaying Higher Value,) while hitting one of the primary attraction switches.

Granted it’s a catch 22, because in order to raise your chances of dating beautiful women it helps considerably to have previously dated other beautiful women. So what can you do about it? Choose to develop platonic friendships with such women for starters. Take an interest in the female mind.

I did find one guy’s video response to the Sundance clip on youtube, sorry I couldn’t embed the video as embedding was disabled according to the author’s settings. If you’re interested in another guy’s thoughts on this then click the HERE.

Self Esteem & Sexual Communication

During the last few weeks I was in Chicago speaking to a seminar room full of women (truly amazing!), appeared on Chicago’s top talk radio show.. then spent 2 weeks in LA pitching new show concepts to several of the largest production companies currently in television… stayed in LA for fun (even met a bunch of movie stars), and networking, hung out with Mystery, Matador, Tara, Neil Strauss, and some of the guys from The PUA2.. aaannnddd then back to filming and editing for your viewing pleasure. Read more

How Important Are Looks?

This article was in response to several posts made on www.arizonapua.com/forum from a guy who was having issues with his self image.

but i do go out there and game.  girls look at me like im a freak and walk away or give me the hand or roll their eyes…..EVERY FUCKING TIME!!!!  and im at penn state U…one of the biggest pussy schools on the planet for 3 years and still havent gotten shit, not even a kiss, and i go out every weekend.  so all im sayin is im hideous and to continue trying to use game is fucking pointless.  thank you.

Yes, looks are important I agree, but in my opinion from what you have posted [edit: and the pictures he had online] there is 0% correlation between your looks and the responses (you personally) are getting.

PLEASE NOTE THAT THIS INDIVIDUAL POSTED MANY MESSAGES TO MY ARIZONAPUA MESSAGE BOARD, AND THERE WAS A DEFINITE PATTERN IN HIS BEHAVIOUR, AND BELIEFS THAT MADE ME REACH SUCH A CONCLUSION ABOUT HIM.

He also stated that his self image was justified based upon the responses he was receiving from online match and rating websites, like hotornot.

He failed to realise that the whole way in which he was communicating was making him appear rather unattractive to women.. and that negative feedback he was receiving had NOTHING to do with his actual physical looks.

Unfortunately, like so many of us, he would take the cold responses from women and apply it to his already negative self image. Such psychological processes of negative reinforcement are actually very damaging to Read more