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Interesting Video On Being Beautiful

Justin "JDOG" Marks — Tue, 04 Aug 2009 09:37:21 +0000

What are your thoughts about this video? Post your comments below!

I have a question for you. How well do you truly understand women? More specifically, do you have any idea what it’s really like to be a very beautiful woman? How does she feel inside from being stared at wherever she goes?

Does she get tired of being hit on constantly, but at other times find herself seeking the validation she is so used to? What are her frustrations, anxieties, and difficulties that arise just because she is more attractive? Or is her life perfect 100% of the time, because let’s face it most guys will do anything for her, right?

Unless you have dated a few desirable women then I would think that you wouldn’t really understand the reality of what it’s like to be a woman of particular beauty. If you have studied the female mind, and enough seduction related materials then perhaps you have started to get some insight, but without spending a lot of time around beautiful women, either as a platonic friend (by your own choice,) or through dating, then it’s difficult to have a deep understanding.

I remember several years ago seeing part of a Dr. Phil show, where a stunningly beautiful women, who seemed on the surface to have an idyllic life, just completely broke down on camera. I didn’t get it at the time. I didn’t get that her life could be anything other than perfect. Most people find it difficult to relate to the problems that come alongside beauty. Much in the same way that beautiful women have no concept as to what it’s like being an average, or less than average looking guy. She has no frame of reference. She doesn’t need one though, as she’s not trying to get with the average guy.

Attractive women may get what they want a lot of the time, and they might get treated better than most, but there is a flip side. She has to screen through mountains of men who fake kindness and sincerity, to find the ones who are genuine. Does she find that she frequently gets played by the high valued men in her life? She may find it constantly more difficult in the work place, and not because of men, but because other women are jealous of her looks, and therefore make her life difficult. There may be an emotional separation between her and her best girlfriend. She always gets the attention from guys, who directly hit on her, while treating her girlfriend like chopped liver. This causes difficulties, and is one of the reasons why we say to open the friend first. Win the friends over before focusing your attention on the hottest girl in the group. Realize that there are a myriad other difficulties attractive women face.

Is she brushing you off because she dislikes you personally? Or is she tired of having 12 guys hit on her today with lame approaches, and no obvious regard for her as a person? Perhaps she just needs to make the best use of her time, and has programmed herself to shut down certain advances form ANY guy. Think twice before calling her a bitch.

Understanding her reality will skyrocket your chances of getting further with her. When women feel that you understand their world they will instantly be set at ease, and they will want to connect with you. It is the rarity. It was my good friend Ross Jeffries who first shared this concept with me. Ross calls it “Being An Authority On Her World.” If conveys so many positives about you. She will think, “wow, this guy really gets me!” She will know that you must have dated a lot of beautiful women, therefore there is unstated preselection being conveyed. For you Mystery Method guys out there that would be a DHV (Displaying Higher Value,) while hitting one of the primary attraction switches.

Granted it’s a catch 22, because in order to raise your chances of dating beautiful women it helps considerably to have previously dated other beautiful women. So what can you do about it? Choose to develop platonic friendships with such women for starters. Take an interest in the female mind.

I did find one guy’s video response to the Sundance clip on youtube, sorry I couldn’t embed the video as embedding was disabled according to the author’s settings. If you’re interested in another guy’s thoughts on this then click the HERE.

Dealing With Approach Anxiety

Justin "JDOG" Marks — Mon, 03 Aug 2009 10:07:05 +0000

When I teach workshops I talk about many ways to deal with approach anxiety. Here are 10 quick tips on how to stop approach anxiety.

Act Like It’s A Game – When an interaction is over, just hit the reset button, and try again. You learn and get further in the game each time you hit that reset button. A game should be fun, not emotionally weighed down. Your out there to have fun, and other people’s reactions are unimportant.
Remove The Outcome – For some it helps to remove the outcome. By this I mean that they initially (while learning) should have only one goal, and that is to enjoyably learn from the interaction. Others may want to keep their eye on the ball by challenging themselves to get further, such as by setting a desired outcome in their mind before opening. That might be to bounce the girl to another venue, or to simply initiate some sort of touch during the conversation.
Warm Up Sets – are a great way to get into a talkative state. Generally, open three groups of people, and talk about anything and you will find you are warmed up and ready to go. Their responses are insignificant as this is just an exercise for you that they are oblivious to. Talk about random things, your grocery list, or run material on them. It really doesn’t matter. Of course any chance to refine material is a good one. You can also use the 3 second rule, where you have to open within three seconds of seeing a girl you are interested in. You can also open the first set on the left when entering any location.
Adopt The Right Beliefs – Having a good set of beliefs about yourself, about how the interaction will go, about women in general, amongst other things, will color every interaction. First we review your current beliefs to see if they are helping or hindering your dating life. Then we spend some time considering new beliefs, and reframing old ones. An example of a hindering belief might be, “I don’t deserve a girl like that.” You would be better suited to consider writing some empowering beliefs down, and visualizing what it would be like to truly feel this way about yourself, such as “I know that girl will enjoy getting to know me.”
Positive Mental Rehearsal – Visualizations, meditations, and exercises to boost your mood, and trigger an optimum state of mind for meeting women. Similar to how a musician will pump themselves up before going on stage. This may include state amping exercises.
Newbie Drills & Baby Steps – For those who suffer from higher levels of anxiety using newbie drills and very small chunk steps seem to work well getting them comfortable with opening. This may include light hearted social experiments to see people’s reactions. Small chunk steps examples would be such things as; giving people high fives in the street, just asking people directions, or asking how their day is going.
Desensitize To New Environments – Feeling some level of anxiety in new situations or environments is part of normal emotional circuitry, and the best way to get a handle on it is to spend more time getting comfortable in those situations.
Dealing With Social Pressure – Sometimes it can feel like everyone in the room is staring, and guess what, sometimes when you are talking to the hottest girl in the room that may actually be the case. Doing things to get used to social pressure can be a great exercise.
Know What To Say – Knowing what to talk about, thereby removing some level of uncertainty, can significantly help with your approaching. This is one of the main reasons why we have canned openers, and routines. It allows us to start conversations with something that is tried and tested. Without having to think about what to say you can swiftly start a conversation about something that has a higher chances of getting her interest.
A Heathy Review Process – It would be difficult to learn ANYTHING in life if we emotionally beat ourselves up about it every step of the way. With most things people learn in a healthy way, not so with dating and relationships. We tend to reflect on ourselves with every mistake. Putting this into perspective, and reviewing what went right, and what could have gone better after an interaction can be a useful learning tool. We need to be able to do that while still feeling good about ourselves.