Turn a women on by describing her peak feelings to her.

It has been almost 3 months since my last confession blog post, forgive me for I have sinned been distracted by life’s unpredictability. These past few months have been a difficult and trying time for everybody, in such the depressed and turbulent global economic environment that we find ourselves in. I’ve spent the better part of this time stopping the bleeding of my own finances, and making the decision that it is finally time for me to leave Arizona.

I discovered something today, and without wanting to sound new agey or anything like that, I’m just going to come out and say it. I found Flow. OK, so not my “One Thing” in life to pursue in order to reach complete happiness ala City Slickers LOL… no, but profound non the less.

It’s really a rediscovery that in one small moment you can go from being just ok, just emotionally normal or average, to being transported instantaneously to a place where you are at complete peace, completely content, and experiencing true blissful happiness. Hyper-focused in the moment. To go one step further I feel this should be an intrinsic experience where you are doing something, not where the outcome or good emotions are dependent upon someone else, or anything else for that matter. (Written before reading about Mihály Csíkszentmihályi’s State of Flow Componenets. Check that out for a deeper understanding of what I’m talking about.)

Experiencing this for yourself can totally allow you to be able to describe an incredible experience in a captivating way to anyone, which is especially beneficial when meeting and connecting with women. It can help you understand a girl’s emotions for example, when she is doing the things that she is most passionate about. Being able to describe another person’s experience can be extremely powerful in bringing the two of you closer together. Beyond all that though, it’s just plain good, and bloody necessary to have things you do in life that transport you to a meditation like state.

So how did this all come about I hear you thinking to yourselves. Well, for me it all started last night when I found myself on a rooftop club with complete strangers. We were all getting progressively more intoxicated just like old friends, and that lead to my hangover this morning.. and let me tell you something, you don’t want to wake up on a boat with a hangover!

Wait scratch that.. this story began sometime around a year ago, when I bought my first skateboard at the age of 35. It was odd because I’d never skated in my life, never thought it was cool, nor had I ever been interested in skateboarding in the least. That was until a year ago. I stumbled around on it for a while, and after an intense week of boarding around parking lots late at night I got what I can only describe as heel splints, kind of like shin splints only in my kicking heel. Then I wiped out on it gouging bloody holes into the palms of my hands. I got better at it, but really only skated to starbucks on the odd occasion.

Why did I start skateboarding at 35? I just wanted to. You see I have a tendency to buck the system, to do whatever I feel like doing, or at least learn about and try new things. I hate the idea of being limited by other people’s opinions.. or by my age, or any such other ridiculous things that have an annoying tendency to restrict our lives. Mutterings of “social programming” flutter across the room.

Skating around, wiping out, and getting my infamous ‘heel splints’ definitely lead to some wonderful interactions with women. From joking about me just getting my first board at 35, to asking them if there is such a thing as heel splints as an opener. It made for fun conversation. It was definitely a plus with younger women, and I always like to let younger girls know my age in a casual way early on. Thus it never weirds them out later.

More accurately though it’s a longboard, and when stood on it’s end comes up to my chest, so as longboards go it’s a pretty long longboard. Try saying that with a mouthful of cheerios. Arizona really isn’t that conducive to longboarding around town so it’s been sitting in my garage gathering dust for months now. That’s my excuse anyway. (JDOG shifts his eyes tellingly.. they dart to the ground)

This Trip Cost Me Nothing

OK so back to my story. On Thursday afternoon I was all packed for my California road trip, and just before leaving, I saw the longboard sitting there all forsaken. It just seemed so.. lonely, and I paused for a moment to remember the fond times we shared together. I said, “fuck it! You are coming with me!” I placed it on the passenger seat and we headed to San Diego.

Point to point the drive took me roughly 7 hours, and included 30 minutes driving through my first dust storm. Happily travelling 80 mph one minute, and then a second later having thick waves of sand slamming into your car aint fun, especially when another second later you realise that you can’t see ANYTHING.. no road.. no other cars.. no nothing. I actually felt a pang of panic hit my stomach knowing that at any moment I could be heading into some mangled pile up. Of course I slowed down, put on the fog lights and was fine.. but if you’ve never driven through a real dust storm on a highway it’s definitely an experience.

Whenever I arrive in San Diego I feel good. Having left 100 degree Arizona heat behind, I welcomed the cooler air, and continued to the marina to my friend’s boat. Yes sir I’m staying on a 47ft motor yacht for the next few days before heading up to LA. How cool is that!

Yesterday afternoon we were having a beer on my friend’s neighbor’s yacht, which seems like the daily activity around here. His 20 year old daughter was with us (grin), and invited me to join her friends on the town. They turned out to be a totally cool bunch that took me from dive corner bar to rooftop club, overlooking the baseball stadium. Once in the club though I joined another group of complete strangers, who I closed out the place with. Very fun and unexpected night on the town. My new best friend became the actress Michelle Ewin.

Flash forward back to this morning. “Uugghh.. I feel like crap.. and why is the room moving up and down.. shit I’m on a boat with a hangover.. I hate hangovers.. and right now boats are not on my favorite list.. uuuggghhh.” A glass of water, 2 advil, a shower, and a queazy skateboard ride to starbucks.. some phone calls.. coffee.. a pastry.. and ok feeling better now.

Since arriving at the marina I’ve been skateboarding all over the place. The long boardwalk makes it the perfect place. This morning was different. I put on my noise isolating headphones, selected a playlist from my iphone, and started skating. All of a sudden I was in my own personal sound bubble, and was literally gliding. I think I left earth for a minute.. on a figgin skateboard. I carved back and forth, whizzing past people walking around on their two legs.. how old school is that.. ha!

“Sometime Around Midnight,” by The Airborne Toxic Event

I was in the zone. I had no care for anything else going on in the world. I was 100% immersed in the moment. I think that I might have actually been kind of dance-boarding to the music. Is that even a term? Not a flattering visual perhaps, but I had absolutely no feelings of self-consciousness. It was really like being on some kind of drug, only better. So this is Flow. I guess it’s been a while. How long has it been for you? Perhaps it’s time for you to find your one thing that transports you to your own state of flow.

This reminds me of a guy I met a few weeks ago at a new skatepark in Tucson, Arizona. He was a short middle-aged fellow, who was sporting some heavy duty pads, and a helmet. He skated a pretty scary 15ft bowl. Only the old timers dare skate that thing, all of whom wore pads. You literally got butterflies in your stomach just standing on the edge looking down, let alone skating it at speed whilst getting air off the coping.

We spoke to him afterwards, and asked him what it was like. “It’s like heaven,” he said. “It’s heaven,” he repeated. I joked to my friend, “Wow.. I wish I did something that feels like heaven.” Well he was really describing being in the zone. It’s a universal experience. Recognize it, do it, and try explaining it to someone else. Then ask her what she does that transports her to this place.

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Go Criss Angel On Her Ass!

are gang signs still cool? ..notice how he puts his arm or hands around girl's necks in pictures.. a very dominant alpha male trait.

People love party tricks. Perhaps you’ve been to a party where someone’s party trick is so much fun that it contagiously spreads until everyone is doing it.. kind of like my ex-girlfriend Lisa.. haha just kidding.. no but seriously if you get the chance you should totally do Lisa!

At some point in your life you must have been at a party where no one could find a bottle opener, which sucks. Nah.. it’s an opportunity! You get the chance to show the girls just how ingenious you can be. Counter tops and table edges are always an option. Give onlooking women a spike of bad boy danger-attraction when you butt the edge of the bottle cap against a table, and proceed to slam your hand down on top of it. WHAM!

Though sometimes you get wood chips in your beer, or worse still mark the table. You are so money doing this though, and women love it so who cares. You’ll drink those splinters and not complain. I always preferred to use a key to prise the top off, which curiously makes me look nerdier than I already am.

So gentlemen, I present to you the ultimate.. the best.. the coolest way to open those beer bottles in front of your doe-eyed prey. For want of a better term.. drum roll please.. I present to you, “The ring bottle opener trick” ..that will totally allow you to.. go Criss Angel on her ass!

I learnt this from a chap at a private event in LA one time, who with one swift motion slid his hand over the top of a beer bottle, and as if by magic the cap popped off in his hand with that all familiar sound you get when opening a beer.

No bottle opener was in his hand, and even I thought it was cool. This was a regular bottle, not one with a twist off cap. I can tell you’re impressed.. ok you had to be there, but it is cool I promise. By now you must be sitting there reading this agog, asking yourself how such a thing was possible.

The trick is that you open it with the edge of your ring. Some rings are better suited to this than others. Preferably a cheap steel ring with a band width of at least 2-3 cm, and thin enough to be able to hook underneath a bottle cap, but strong enough not to break. An expensive ring might get scratched or even bent doing this.

Best to have the ring on your middle finger, to get more grip. Using your index finger for this could lead to injury. Yes! Just like Criss Angel you could tell people that this is extremely dangerous and this time you might get really hurt.. in fact, if this goes wrong it could be your last stunt ever.. you might die doing this!

Let’s go through the steps, and then I’l let you in on another little secret.

1. While flirting with your spectator offer her a beer. Or just say, “Damn it! I’m getting you a tasty ass motherfucking beer.. trust me you’ll like it.”
2. Hold the bottle as if you were going to open it with a bottle opener. I would suggest in your left hand if you are right handed.
3. Bring your right hand over to the bottle, cupping your fingers over the bottle cap.. ensuring that the edge of your ring is pressed tightly against the underneath of the bottle cap, hooking under it.
4. With one swift and firm motion move your right hand upward, following the same trajectory as if using a real bottle opener.
5. Casually hand the beer to the girl. She should now be in awe of you, and making out should quickly ensue.

In the event that blood gushes from your hand then it most likely means that the nasty sharp edge of the bottle cap slashed your finger apart. This is an unfortunate but predictable turn for the worse. You could play this could, hand her the beer anyway, and ask if she’s into vampire play. It may be best to seek medical attention at this point, and for the record; I highly advise you to never try this dangerous and stupid, albeit uber-cool party trick, and remove myself from all liability that may result from your irresponsible and stupid behaviour. Jeez what were you thinking?

Now for The Secret that I promised. Not to be confused with that all too popular Secret, which should probably change it’s name to “It’s Not Such A Big Secret Anymore.. But It’s Still Good.” The secret here is that you don’t have to use a regular ring! Nope, you can use a trick ring like the one somewhere to the right in that Amazon box, which so magically and conveniently appeared for you. Now go forth to parties and conquer.. Shazam!

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Factoid: JDOG was a guest for a table reading of an episode of The Simpsons

The biggest disadvantage is.. working from home! I teach interpersonal communication skills, and anyone who has telecommuted for a prolonged period of time will agree that the lack of social interaction can actually become depressing. While I don’t miss working in a cubicle I do miss the social office environment.

A few days ago I was posting on some technology message board when I stumbled upon a post from a guy who said he was so lonely working from his home office. He said that although he makes really good money, he spends on average 9 hours a day in a little room, with nobody to talk to, and the loneliness was really getting to him. Freelance programming and website development is his actual profession.

That post started quite a long discussion where many people chimed in about how they too were making great money by telecommuting, but were also suffering from the same loneliness, induced by a total lack of social interaction.

Prior to me working from a home office my whole engineering career involved a considerable amount of travel and field work, where I got used to working out of Starbucks coffee shops. Personally, if I stay inside working all day I go stir crazy.

On a side note… similar to opening 3 warm up sets (groups of people) to get in the zone when in a club environment, the baristas (usually cute girls) are my warm up set during the day. Not just a warm up set, but part of putting me on the right track for being the social, fun, and playful guy that people love to meet when out and about during the day.

So my advice to anyone who works from home is to use a laptop, and work from the wifi connection in coffee shops. Many of them have free wifi for customers, and Starbucks now provides 2 hours free wifi when you buy a prepaid card. Prior to this you would have to spend $20-$30 per month on Tmobile or AT&T wifi access.

OK, so I hope that there’s already some sanity saving advice here, but the real tip of the day relates to the fact that the music at most Starbucks is ANNOYING at best! I’ve had to leave on many occasion, because the combination of their music selection and volume levels can be like mind torture, especially when you’re trying to focus on work.

Sanity Saving Tip: Use a pair of noise isolating headphones, and work from your own blissful bubble of sound. My favourite brand is Shure, as I mentioned in the “Losing my connection..” article. Shure just make a great product that improves my quality of life.. highly recommended.

Do you want to meet women during the day? Yes, then realize there’s quite a bit you can do to improve your chances if coffee shops happen to be your hunting ground.. and making them your virtual office does have some advantages from that respect. Last week I was working at the same table that I’m writing from at this very moment. It was crowded in here, and my table had the only available seats. A couple asked if they could share the table with me, of course I said yes. It turned out that they were just friends, and I ended up leaving with the girl’s number and some tentative plans for reconnecting. No hunting involved on that occasion.. honest

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HOW COOL IS THIS..

Here’s an interesting factoid “JDOG appears in a music video!”: JDOG was grabbing some late night food in LA one night with Spoon from the VH1 show, when 2 fans of the show started talking to them… one of which was a very beautiful model, who had just been hanging out at the Playboy mansion.. so of course they had JDOG’s interest! They were sitting with a chap called Shaneal, an amazing musician from Australia, who had just played a gig at the Playboy Mansion that night. 

You never now who you will meet and become good friends with when you go out.. Shaneal is just an amazing individual and an incredible artist, who you should definitely checkout at www.shaneal.com. During his trip to LA Shaneal was looking to shoot the music video for the launch of his new single “Fancy Cars & Superstars.” JDOG invited Shaneal to the finale party for The Pickup Artist, and introduced him to several people involved in video production, and the next thing you know they were shooting on the famous Sunset strip in West Hollywood. You can checkout the video below:

I get into the limo at [1:50] and then you see clips of me dancing & partying with everyone

UPDATE: Here’s another clip that Shaneal sent me:

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