Find Something Beautiful About Yourself

It’s all too easy to pick fault with ourselves, whether that’s by second guessing our decisions, or by dwelling on our insecurities. I’ve been writing lately about various aspects of Inner Game, from dealing with Approach Anxiety to pushing through the discomfort of rejection.

On a similar track my mind was day dreaming today about a certain woman. Pondering the beauty of a woman is an all too easy pass time for me. From the soft lines of her face, to the allure of her eyes.. her full lips that I can’t stop thinking about.. I kept glancing at them when she was talking to me. Her smooth skin.. the curves of her body. Deep breath…….aaaannd continue.. In fact if we didn’t have to talk to each other I could happily have a conversation in my own head while gazing at a woman’s beauty.. hmm and I could quite easily do that right now, so before I completely lose my train of thought here.. What does she see in me? What can she see in me? Does she have to like my physical looks? Can she feel these types of feelings towards any aspect of me? ..and perhaps most importantly.. Do I like me?

What is there about me that she can find beautiful in some way, if I were to look through her eyes, and listen through her ears? This doesn’t have to be about physical looks either. However, I am of the opinion that once you start connecting with someone, you do start to change the way you see them to some extent. Your perception of their beauty actually changes. If you really connect then they appear more attractive to you overall, and you feel more comfortable in their company. On the flip side, when someone’s personality is off in some way, or they fundamentally conflict with your core values, then you may perceive that person as less attractive. Can you think of times in your own life when either of these were true? Take a moment to think about this, before you continue to follow along with what I’m saying. Read more

Playing Dog With God

What follows is just some curiosity, and thoughts that I have in my head. My conversational topics usually start with such a foundation. Do you want to know what to start a conversation with? Do you want to know what to talk about? ..and do you want to know this without using canned “material” from someone else’s contrived repertoire?

Yes, then here’s an example. It’s just current things I’ve experienced, or seen this past week, and therefore I’m talking about it with people. Is it high octane high energy opening material for a loud night club? Not in and of itself, but if your personal energy is at the right level, and you interact with people in a captivating way using such things as; teasing, social control, and describing your thoughts or stories with passion in an animated manner, then yes it can be. Delivery is everything! This type of casual conversation is also ideal for day time settings.

If you are stuck for an opener, and a conversation right now, then by all means try this out verbatim as an example. Note though that it’s untested and unrefined, as I was just thinking about this today. I have no real world responses to encourage you with this time. From past experience though I’m sure it will be fine. Women love talking about Read more

How To Be More Interesting

When I teach a seminar I will ask the audience what they do on a monthly basis that other people may find interesting, and preferably something they feel passionate about. Exploring your passions, and developing them into real hobbies can have an exponentially beneficial effect on your love life.

We tend to talk with more enthusiasm about things that we are passionate about. Emotions are contagious, and those good feelings will spread to the person you are talking to. They will find you more captivating and interesting from that emotional exchange alone. Passionate talkers are often charismatic conversationalists.

Women are profoundly attracted to men that can talk with passion, conviction, and enthusiasm. If you are asking the question, “How can I talk more passionately?” Read more

10 Great Comfort Tips

Without hesitation I would have to say that the most common question I’m asked when out and about is, “Can you just give me one tip.. one quick piece of advice on what to say?” In answer to this I have decided to give you not one but 10 quick tips! 

However, these aren’t openers and they’re not lines, and no they are not routines either.  Rather they provide some practical insight into connecting on a deeper level, thus keeping in the same vein as my last article (see “Losing my connection.. can you feel me now?”) 

Consider this as the foundation for ensuring that women will never flake on you again! You may recall that my comfort game is extremely strong, but it hasn’t always been that way for me. It’s something that I really had to work on. It’s something that improved as I Read more

Losing my connection.. can you feel me now?

I find myself on a train heading from Leeds to London, encapsulated in my own world via the perfect pairing of Shure noise isolating headphones, and iPhone. It’s been four years since I was last in my home country, and this has been an interesting trip. First off I had the most amazing teaching experience, when teaching and coaching with Dr. Paul Dobransky in London.

– Countryside blurs past the window to the soundtrack of U2. –

I just pulled out my copy of “Social Intelligence,” by Daniel Goleman. A must read for everyone by the way! This book is profound. It breaks down processes in the brain that, in some form or fashion, I’ve been teaching about for years. The more of it I read the better it gets. I will talk more about this book later.

Lately I’ve been thinking about how everyone seems to be teaching social skills these days, but very few of them teach men how to really be men. Where is the bootcamp on how to develop emotional maturity, or provide any kind of process to really connect with people in a genuine and honest way? It’s as if the seduction community is breeding a generation of used-car-salesman-seducers, or Salesman Seducers, or SADucers for short.. hmmm I like that, SADusers! Read more