Turn a women on by describing her peak feelings to her.

It has been almost 3 months since my last confession blog post, forgive me for I have sinned been distracted by life’s unpredictability. These past few months have been a difficult and trying time for everybody, in such the depressed and turbulent global economic environment that we find ourselves in. I’ve spent the better part of this time stopping the bleeding of my own finances, and making the decision that it is finally time for me to leave Arizona.

I discovered something today, and without wanting to sound new agey or anything like that, I’m just going to come out and say it. I found Flow. OK, so not my “One Thing” in life to pursue in order to reach complete happiness ala City Slickers LOL… no, but profound non the less.

It’s really a rediscovery that in one small moment you can go from being just ok, just emotionally normal or average, to being transported instantaneously to a place where you are at complete peace, completely content, and experiencing true blissful happiness. Hyper-focused in the moment. To go one step further I feel this should be an intrinsic experience where you are doing something, not where the outcome or good emotions are dependent upon someone else, or anything else for that matter. (Written before reading about Mihály Csíkszentmihályi’s State of Flow Componenets. Check that out for a deeper understanding of what I’m talking about.)

Experiencing this for yourself can totally allow you to be able to describe an incredible experience in a captivating way to anyone, which is especially beneficial when meeting and connecting with women. It can help you understand a girl’s emotions for example, when she is doing the things that she is most passionate about. Being able to describe another person’s experience can be extremely powerful in bringing the two of you closer together. Beyond all that though, it’s just plain good, and bloody necessary to have things you do in life that transport you to a meditation like state.

So how did this all come about I hear you thinking to yourselves. Well, for me it all started last night when I found myself on a rooftop club with complete strangers. We were all getting progressively more intoxicated just like old friends, and that lead to my hangover this morning.. and let me tell you something, you don’t want to wake up on a boat with a hangover!

Wait scratch that.. this story began sometime around a year ago, when I bought my first skateboard at the age of 35. It was odd because I’d never skated in my life, never thought it was cool, nor had I ever been interested in skateboarding in the least. That was until a year ago. I stumbled around on it for a while, and after an intense week of boarding around parking lots late at night I got what I can only describe as heel splints, kind of like shin splints only in my kicking heel. Then I wiped out on it gouging bloody holes into the palms of my hands. I got better at it, but really only skated to starbucks on the odd occasion.

Why did I start skateboarding at 35? I just wanted to. You see I have a tendency to buck the system, to do whatever I feel like doing, or at least learn about and try new things. I hate the idea of being limited by other people’s opinions.. or by my age, or any such other ridiculous things that have an annoying tendency to restrict our lives. Mutterings of “social programming” flutter across the room.

Skating around, wiping out, and getting my infamous ‘heel splints’ definitely lead to some wonderful interactions with women. From joking about me just getting my first board at 35, to asking them if there is such a thing as heel splints as an opener. It made for fun conversation. It was definitely a plus with younger women, and I always like to let younger girls know my age in a casual way early on. Thus it never weirds them out later.

More accurately though it’s a longboard, and when stood on it’s end comes up to my chest, so as longboards go it’s a pretty long longboard. Try saying that with a mouthful of cheerios. Arizona really isn’t that conducive to longboarding around town so it’s been sitting in my garage gathering dust for months now. That’s my excuse anyway. (JDOG shifts his eyes tellingly.. they dart to the ground)

This Trip Cost Me Nothing

OK so back to my story. On Thursday afternoon I was all packed for my California road trip, and just before leaving, I saw the longboard sitting there all forsaken. It just seemed so.. lonely, and I paused for a moment to remember the fond times we shared together. I said, “fuck it! You are coming with me!” I placed it on the passenger seat and we headed to San Diego.

Point to point the drive took me roughly 7 hours, and included 30 minutes driving through my first dust storm. Happily travelling 80 mph one minute, and then a second later having thick waves of sand slamming into your car aint fun, especially when another second later you realise that you can’t see ANYTHING.. no road.. no other cars.. no nothing. I actually felt a pang of panic hit my stomach knowing that at any moment I could be heading into some mangled pile up. Of course I slowed down, put on the fog lights and was fine.. but if you’ve never driven through a real dust storm on a highway it’s definitely an experience.

Whenever I arrive in San Diego I feel good. Having left 100 degree Arizona heat behind, I welcomed the cooler air, and continued to the marina to my friend’s boat. Yes sir I’m staying on a 47ft motor yacht for the next few days before heading up to LA. How cool is that!

Yesterday afternoon we were having a beer on my friend’s neighbor’s yacht, which seems like the daily activity around here. His 20 year old daughter was with us (grin), and invited me to join her friends on the town. They turned out to be a totally cool bunch that took me from dive corner bar to rooftop club, overlooking the baseball stadium. Once in the club though I joined another group of complete strangers, who I closed out the place with. Very fun and unexpected night on the town. My new best friend became the actress Michelle Ewin.

Flash forward back to this morning. “Uugghh.. I feel like crap.. and why is the room moving up and down.. shit I’m on a boat with a hangover.. I hate hangovers.. and right now boats are not on my favorite list.. uuuggghhh.” A glass of water, 2 advil, a shower, and a queazy skateboard ride to starbucks.. some phone calls.. coffee.. a pastry.. and ok feeling better now.

Since arriving at the marina I’ve been skateboarding all over the place. The long boardwalk makes it the perfect place. This morning was different. I put on my noise isolating headphones, selected a playlist from my iphone, and started skating. All of a sudden I was in my own personal sound bubble, and was literally gliding. I think I left earth for a minute.. on a figgin skateboard. I carved back and forth, whizzing past people walking around on their two legs.. how old school is that.. ha!

“Sometime Around Midnight,” by The Airborne Toxic Event

I was in the zone. I had no care for anything else going on in the world. I was 100% immersed in the moment. I think that I might have actually been kind of dance-boarding to the music. Is that even a term? Not a flattering visual perhaps, but I had absolutely no feelings of self-consciousness. It was really like being on some kind of drug, only better. So this is Flow. I guess it’s been a while. How long has it been for you? Perhaps it’s time for you to find your one thing that transports you to your own state of flow.

This reminds me of a guy I met a few weeks ago at a new skatepark in Tucson, Arizona. He was a short middle-aged fellow, who was sporting some heavy duty pads, and a helmet. He skated a pretty scary 15ft bowl. Only the old timers dare skate that thing, all of whom wore pads. You literally got butterflies in your stomach just standing on the edge looking down, let alone skating it at speed whilst getting air off the coping.

We spoke to him afterwards, and asked him what it was like. “It’s like heaven,” he said. “It’s heaven,” he repeated. I joked to my friend, “Wow.. I wish I did something that feels like heaven.” Well he was really describing being in the zone. It’s a universal experience. Recognize it, do it, and try explaining it to someone else. Then ask her what she does that transports her to this place.

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1. How To Be More Interesting

You don't have to be this adventurous!

When I teach a seminar I will ask the audience what they do on a monthly basis that other people may find interesting, and preferably something they feel passionate about. Exploring your passions, and developing them into real hobbies can have an exponentially beneficial effect on your love life.

We tend to talk with more enthusiasm about things that we are passionate about. Emotions are contagious, and those good feelings will spread to the person you are talking to. They will find you more captivating and interesting from that emotional exchange alone. Passionate talkers are often charismatic conversationalists.

Women are profoundly attracted to men that can talk with passion, conviction, and enthusiasm. If you are asking the question, “How can I talk more passionately?” The best answer is to actually be passionate about what you are talking about. Make sense?

We all have busy lives, so just how can we put this living with passion concept into effect? The absolutely easiest way is to read. Yes, reading about something that you find fascinating is perfect. I find that I am always learning, and much of my reading these days is done online because of the instant access to information. Continually learning is very important to me. In “The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People,” Steven Covey calls this “Sharpening The Blade,” the 7th habit.. if you haven’t read the book I ‘highly’ recommend it.. oh and sorry for spoiling the ending :-D

I find so many things fascinating, and everyday I spend a couple of hours learning something new online. I’ve spent time reading about such topics as; skateboarding, motorcyles, finance, politics, and most recently what would appear to be the very boring subject of RSS Feeds. Haha well I did choose to study engineering in university.

Now you would think that telling a girl that RSS stands for Really Simple Syndication would completely bore her. Women like, want, and are attracted to intelligent men, just not boring men. It is always possible to talk about seemingly mundane topics in a captivating and attractive way. This is doubly true if you talk with passion for the subject. It does go without saying though that women will find certain topics of conversation more interesting than others. I would definitely not recommend talking about RSS Feeds as a tactic to meet women.. LOL.

I used to open girls by asking if they could program in PHP as I needed help working on my website, and then I’d tell them I was such a nerd. Actually this worked really well for me because my fashion style was cooler than the average guy, and I came across in a confident and flirtatious way. So the nerd talk complimented those qualities to add depth, and create intrigue.

By no means am I suggesting that you talk about such things. I’m simply demonstrating from my own experience how even those topics can work in your favour. Women will undoubtedly be more interested if the conversation were about something more exciting, such as your recent wake boarding experience.

From the meeting women persecutive it is far more advantageous to actually get involved and do something that you are passionate about. Yes, we are men, and it can be said that our motivation for everything we do in life is connected to our desire for women. You should pursue your passions though primarily for you.

Here is a selection of several ways that I have indulged in my interests and passions. Some are ongoing, and others were one off experiences:

Few of us can honestly get away with the excuse that there is just no time. Even with a busy work schedule we can usually find ways to make time. Watching less television springs to mind. 

Certain things interest me personally that may be of little interest to you. We are all individuals. Take a moment to think about something that you always wanted to do, learn, or perhaps something that gets you excited at the thought of doing it. Next think about what ways you can explore that opportunity. Write it down.. make an action list. Keep it simple this should only take you about 10 minutes. Then set a firm start date.. hint.. this week would be perfect. Start this evening and you are definitely a man of action!

What about if you meet a girl before you’ve taking any action? You can still talk about your plans in an excited and enthusiastic way. This can be equally compelling and attractive. The potential pitfall is mis-calibrating her level of interest. So don’t get carried away.

Keep her involved in the conversation, simple is better than complicated, and tap into universal experiences and emotions. A universal experience is something that everyone can relate to, because it is common enough that they have experienced it themselves. It can be the act of doing something, or just feeling a specific emotion, like the butterflies in your stomach on a roller coaster.

When a woman meets me she doesn’t meet a guy that’s running game on her. She meets someone that is interesting who talks with passion, that also happens to have good game. Don’t make the mistake of letting the seduction arts define you.

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1. 10 Great Comfort Tips
2. Playing Dog With God
3. Seduce Her In The Zone

Factoid: JDOG was a guest for a table reading of an episode of The Simpsons

The biggest disadvantage is.. working from home! I teach interpersonal communication skills, and anyone who has telecommuted for a prolonged period of time will agree that the lack of social interaction can actually become depressing. While I don’t miss working in a cubicle I do miss the social office environment.

A few days ago I was posting on some technology message board when I stumbled upon a post from a guy who said he was so lonely working from his home office. He said that although he makes really good money, he spends on average 9 hours a day in a little room, with nobody to talk to, and the loneliness was really getting to him. Freelance programming and website development is his actual profession.

That post started quite a long discussion where many people chimed in about how they too were making great money by telecommuting, but were also suffering from the same loneliness, induced by a total lack of social interaction.

Prior to me working from a home office my whole engineering career involved a considerable amount of travel and field work, where I got used to working out of Starbucks coffee shops. Personally, if I stay inside working all day I go stir crazy.

On a side note… similar to opening 3 warm up sets (groups of people) to get in the zone when in a club environment, the baristas (usually cute girls) are my warm up set during the day. Not just a warm up set, but part of putting me on the right track for being the social, fun, and playful guy that people love to meet when out and about during the day.

So my advice to anyone who works from home is to use a laptop, and work from the wifi connection in coffee shops. Many of them have free wifi for customers, and Starbucks now provides 2 hours free wifi when you buy a prepaid card. Prior to this you would have to spend $20-$30 per month on Tmobile or AT&T wifi access.

OK, so I hope that there’s already some sanity saving advice here, but the real tip of the day relates to the fact that the music at most Starbucks is ANNOYING at best! I’ve had to leave on many occasion, because the combination of their music selection and volume levels can be like mind torture, especially when you’re trying to focus on work.

Sanity Saving Tip: Use a pair of noise isolating headphones, and work from your own blissful bubble of sound. My favourite brand is Shure, as I mentioned in the “Losing my connection..” article. Shure just make a great product that improves my quality of life.. highly recommended.

Do you want to meet women during the day? Yes, then realize there’s quite a bit you can do to improve your chances if coffee shops happen to be your hunting ground.. and making them your virtual office does have some advantages from that respect. Last week I was working at the same table that I’m writing from at this very moment. It was crowded in here, and my table had the only available seats. A couple asked if they could share the table with me, of course I said yes. It turned out that they were just friends, and I ended up leaving with the girl’s number and some tentative plans for reconnecting. No hunting involved on that occasion.. honest

Related posts:

1. Day Game vs Nightclub Game
2. Meeting Women At Work.. Are You Al Bundy?

HOW COOL IS THIS..

Here’s an interesting factoid “JDOG appears in a music video!”: JDOG was grabbing some late night food in LA one night with Spoon from the VH1 show, when 2 fans of the show started talking to them… one of which was a very beautiful model, who had just been hanging out at the Playboy mansion.. so of course they had JDOG’s interest! They were sitting with a chap called Shaneal, an amazing musician from Australia, who had just played a gig at the Playboy Mansion that night. 

You never now who you will meet and become good friends with when you go out.. Shaneal is just an amazing individual and an incredible artist, who you should definitely checkout at www.shaneal.com. During his trip to LA Shaneal was looking to shoot the music video for the launch of his new single “Fancy Cars & Superstars.” JDOG invited Shaneal to the finale party for The Pickup Artist, and introduced him to several people involved in video production, and the next thing you know they were shooting on the famous Sunset strip in West Hollywood. You can checkout the video below:

I get into the limo at [1:50] and then you see clips of me dancing & partying with everyone

UPDATE: Here’s another clip that Shaneal sent me:

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1. What Do You Want In The Next Video?