It’s all too easy to pick fault with ourselves, whether that’s by second guessing our decisions, or by dwelling on our insecurities. I’ve been writing lately about various aspects of Inner Game, from dealing with Approach Anxiety to pushing through the discomfort of rejection.

On a similar track my mind was day dreaming today about a certain woman. Pondering the beauty of a woman is an all too easy pass time for me. From the soft lines of her face, to the allure of her eyes.. her full lips that I can’t stop thinking about.. I kept glancing at them when she was talking to me. Her smooth skin.. the curves of her body. Deep breath…….aaaannd continue.. In fact if we didn’t have to talk to each other I could happily have a conversation in my own head while gazing at a woman’s beauty.. hmm and I could quite easily do that right now, so before I completely lose my train of thought here.. What does she see in me? What can she see in me? Does she have to like my physical looks? Can she feel these types of feelings towards any aspect of me? ..and perhaps most importantly.. Do I like me?

What is there about me that she can find beautiful in some way, if I were to look through her eyes, and listen through her ears? This doesn’t have to be about physical looks either. However, I am of the opinion that once you start connecting with someone, you do start to change the way you see them to some extent. Your perception of their beauty actually changes. If you really connect then they appear more attractive to you overall, and you feel more comfortable in their company. On the flip side, when someone’s personality is off in some way, or they fundamentally conflict with your core values, then you may perceive that person as less attractive. Can you think of times in your own life when either of these were true? Take a moment to think about this, before you continue to follow along with what I’m saying.

I find that when you’re emotions are in sync with those of another, as Daniel Goleman describes “synchrony,” that person becomes more attractive in your mind. From my experience this is also true when you had initially found that person to be unattractive. Have you ever heard someone speaking about a date they went on? “We didn’t really connect,” Susan said in a negative tone, her facial expression reflecting her feelings. One would sense she found him unattractive, but the picture she showed was of a guy with model good looks. Upon further discussion she did indeed find him unattractive. His personality, and the things he spoke about made her feel the emotions she associates with someone who is not physically attractive to her. I’m always curious when one of my girl-friends goes on a date, to find out what she was drawn to, or what made her find the guy undesirable.

Finding someone more, or less attractive when in synchrony doesn’t have to be from a sexual perspective either. You might start to appreciate the attractive qualities of someone of the same sex as you. Similarly, it may be a much older person whom you picture as a grandparent figure. Perhaps the bags under someone’s eyes start to reflect their depth of character in a charming way. Or maybe you become aware that their eyes themselves possess a certain quality that is quite beautiful. When they smile you find yourself smiling, filled with warm emotions, while noticing a playful glint in their eye for the first time. Isn’t this attractive? Opening up your awareness to appreciate the beauty in others, is a wonderful mechanism for opening up your appreciation of your own attractive qualities.

There is something to be learned from my friends who practice yoga, when they greet each other by saying Namaste – “The light within me honors the light within you.”

A fitting variation may be:
“The beauty of me admires the beauty of you.”

Opening up your awareness also involves being able to listen and accept the compliments that you receive. Doubly so for repeated compliments from women. If more than one person has told you something to the effect that; your smile is charming, or that you are intelligent, fun to be around, you make the person feel comfortable being around you, or any other quality of yours is particular attractive, then believe it! Even if at first you don’t think that it’s actually true. Realize that from someone else’s point of view it very well might be.

A man I very much admire once said to me, ” Take a good look at yourself in the mirror. If you don’t like the person staring back at you every day, then you better find a way to like that person. You’re going to be seeing him for a really long time.”

If someone were to ask you what your favorite attribute is about yourself, do you have an answer?

1. I think my eyes are attractive. I don’t get instant compliments about them, and for a brief time I even wore colored contacts to cover them up. When a girlfriend is in my arms during an intimate moment, while we are gazing into each others eyes, then in that moment I often hear how beautiful my eyes are.
2. I know that I’m a great conversationalist, granted I’ve made a conscious effort to improve my communication skills. I do get compliments about this on a regular basis. Would this make you appear more attractive to a woman? Absolutely!
3. I know that people instantly feel comfortable around me. I’ve heard this countless times from women, and also from students when teaching workshops.

There I gave you three personal examples. Only one was a physical attribute, and objectively compared to people with absolutely stunning eyes, mine are just average. I find them a beautiful part of me non the less.

May the beauty in others admire the beauty in you.
May you find the beauty in yourself, and in others.

~ Justin

Related posts:

1. Interesting Video On Being Beautiful
2. Self Esteem & Sexual Communication
3. Having Leverage On Yourself

I was having an interesting chat with one of my wings recently. He said that I was unusual in the way that I stuck with learning, and practicing even when I wasn’t getting the results that I wanted. He said that from his time in the community most guys will get disillusioned and quit. He put it stronger by saying that most guys just can’t deal with getting emotionally pummeled on a regular basis from all of the rejections. So they quit before ever getting to the point where they actually start to “get it”, and they never really see consistent positive results.

So I described to him my motivation to keep going. It wasn’t a strong desire to have sex with swimsuit models, although who wouldn’t want that. Yes, wanting hotter women was a factor, but not the factor which kept me going. My emotional leverage was actually comprised almost entirely of negative feelings. I was so completely miserable that I didn’t want to live the rest of my life that way.

For a long time I came off creepy using too much NLP (Neuro-Linguistic Programming.) I used a lot of canned game, peacocked far too much a lot of the time, and eventually I did start seeing some good responses, but It took me a long time before those smiles, and laughs turned into me actually dating or sleeping with the girls that I was meeting.

I had to recognize the little victories, such as; disarming the AMOG, or getting a girl to laugh or listen to me longer than normal. I also had to shut out the pummeling from my mind, and had to stay focused on what was working, and what I was learning from each interaction. I kept a journal, and would often be seen vigorously writing in my moleskin about the girl I just met.

• What we spoke about.
• What I did right
• Which language patterns did I use
• She was totally into me when I did the trust test
• What I could have done better and can improve upon next time. NOT what I did WRONG!
• and so on

There were times, perhaps after a few months of thinking positively, where I would get disillusioned myself. Thinking such things as, “It doesn’t work.. yeah girls like me socially as a friend, but they are still not sexually attracted to me.. it works for some guys because they are better looking!” Then I would want to quit. I would start thinking negatively about my self image again. Aarrrgh.. I wanted to scream!

So what stopped me from giving up? I had such strong emotional leverage that I wouldn’t allow myself to stop trying. I didn’t want to go back to feeling completely shitty about myself. So I forced negative thoughts to the back of my mind.. forced a smile, and kept chipping away at it. I had ups and downs.

Over the years I’ve had this conversation with many friends who have far more life experience than I do, about the concept of emotional growth through pain. Anyone who has been through difficult times, and recovered from it will most likely agree that there is some merit to the phrase, “What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger.”

Granted my motivational strategy was to the most part moving away from a place of strong emotional pain. Anthony Robbins, Richard Bandler, and others in NLP circles suggest that a healthier motivational strategy would be comprised of moving away from the place of pain, and moving towards a place of happiness or pleasure. Bandler, I believe coined the term a propulsion system to describe this.

Their theory is that if you only move away from pain then you may fall into the trap of wanting to replace it so badly that you don’t take the time to define where you actually want to be. Which can lead to landing in another painful situation, and therefore just bouncing around life that way. Of course they were talking in more general terms of goal getting, and making positive life changes.

Another key component of staying on track was creating a healthy Review Process. What I mean by this is that you have a choice when learning. You can either replay all the things that went wrong, and loop through all the embarrassing things you did in the interaction.. or you can externalize the review process and replay it like you are analytically watching an educational story in your mind. Rewarding yourself for the things that you did right no matter how small, and noticing where you can improve next time.

To summarize the two points that I’m making in this article:

1. Find your way to have strong emotional leverage on yourself. Whether that’s moving away from pain, moving towards pleasure, or a combination thereof. One book which helps people create this for getting into the best physical shape is, Body for Life: 12 Weeks to Mental and Physical Strength by Bill Phillips. I would say that 80% of the book is purely to help the reader create a strong motivational strategy to help them stick with the program. The system itself is solid advice on exercise, and eating right. It works but it’s nothing new, just sound practice taken from successful bodybuilders in the 80’s. By the time you get to the actual fitness program, having done your part during the motivational strategy primer, you are far more likely to reap the rewards from sticking with it.
2. Adopt a Healthy Review Process. This will help to minimize negative self talk, and help to stop you from reinforcing negative beliefs. Do this right and you will actually start to create positive reinforcement for yourself.

To learn anything to a good level it often takes years. It’s a fundamental principle of existence that to achieve anything of real value in life you have to be willing to put in the effort, and really work at it. You also have to be prepared to fail… a lot! The most successful people have a different viewpoint of failure, they call it learning how to be successful. Hmm.. I wonder if such people have already adopted a healthy review process?

Related posts:

1. Dealing With Approach Anxiety
2. Find Something Beautiful About Yourself
3. Self Esteem & Sexual Communication

When I teach workshops I talk about many ways to deal with approach anxiety. Here are 10 quick tips on how to stop approach anxiety.

1. Act Like It’s A Game – When an interaction is over, just hit the reset button, and try again. You learn and get further in the game each time you hit that reset button. A game should be fun, not emotionally weighed down. Your out there to have fun, and other people’s reactions are unimportant.
2. Remove The Outcome – For some it helps to remove the outcome. By this I mean that they initially (while learning) should have only one goal, and that is to enjoyably learn from the interaction. Others may want to keep their eye on the ball by challenging themselves to get further, such as by setting a desired outcome in their mind before opening. That might be to bounce the girl to another venue, or to simply initiate some sort of touch during the conversation.
3. Warm Up Sets – are a great way to get into a talkative state. Generally, open three groups of people, and talk about anything and you will find you are warmed up and ready to go. Their responses are insignificant as this is just an exercise for you that they are oblivious to. Talk about random things, your grocery list, or run material on them. It really doesn’t matter. Of course any chance to refine material is a good one. You can also use the 3 second rule, where you have to open within three seconds of seeing a girl you are interested in. You can also open the first set on the left when entering any location.
4. Adopt The Right Beliefs – Having a good set of beliefs about yourself, about how the interaction will go, about women in general, amongst other things, will color every interaction. First we review your current beliefs to see if they are helping or hindering your dating life. Then we spend some time considering new beliefs, and reframing old ones. An example of a hindering belief might be, “I don’t deserve a girl like that.” You would be better suited to consider writing some empowering beliefs down, and visualizing what it would be like to truly feel this way about yourself, such as “I know that girl will enjoy getting to know me.”
5. Positive Mental Rehearsal – Visualizations, meditations, and exercises to boost your mood, and trigger an optimum state of mind for meeting women. Similar to how a musician will pump themselves up before going on stage. This may include state amping exercises.
6. Newbie Drills & Baby Steps – For those who suffer from higher levels of anxiety using newbie drills and very small chunk steps seem to work well getting them comfortable with opening. This may include light hearted social experiments to see people’s reactions. Small chunk steps examples would be such things as; giving people high fives in the street, just asking people directions, or asking how their day is going.
7. Desensitize To New Environments – Feeling some level of anxiety in new situations or environments is part of normal emotional circuitry, and the best way to get a handle on it is to spend more time getting comfortable in those situations.
8. Dealing With Social Pressure – Sometimes it can feel like everyone in the room is staring, and guess what, sometimes when you are talking to the hottest girl in the room that may actually be the case. Doing things to get used to social pressure can be a great exercise.
9. Know What To Say – Knowing what to talk about, thereby removing some level of uncertainty, can significantly help with your approaching. This is one of the main reasons why we have canned openers, and routines. It allows us to start conversations with something that is tried and tested. Without having to think about what to say you can swiftly start a conversation about something that has a higher chances of getting her interest.
10. A Heathy Review Process – It would be difficult to learn ANYTHING in life if we emotionally beat ourselves up about it every step of the way. With most things people learn in a healthy way, not so with dating and relationships. We tend to reflect on ourselves with every mistake. Putting this into perspective, and reviewing what went right, and what could have gone better after an interaction can be a useful learning tool. We need to be able to do that while still feeling good about ourselves.

Related posts:

1. Having Leverage On Yourself
2. Direct Opener By A Natural
3. The “I’m an Expert” Opener

Turn a women on by describing her peak feelings to her.

It has been almost 3 months since my last confession blog post, forgive me for I have sinned been distracted by life’s unpredictability. These past few months have been a difficult and trying time for everybody, in such the depressed and turbulent global economic environment that we find ourselves in. I’ve spent the better part of this time stopping the bleeding of my own finances, and making the decision that it is finally time for me to leave Arizona.

I discovered something today, and without wanting to sound new agey or anything like that, I’m just going to come out and say it. I found Flow. OK, so not my “One Thing” in life to pursue in order to reach complete happiness ala City Slickers LOL… no, but profound non the less.

It’s really a rediscovery that in one small moment you can go from being just ok, just emotionally normal or average, to being transported instantaneously to a place where you are at complete peace, completely content, and experiencing true blissful happiness. Hyper-focused in the moment. To go one step further I feel this should be an intrinsic experience where you are doing something, not where the outcome or good emotions are dependent upon someone else, or anything else for that matter. (Written before reading about Mihály Csíkszentmihályi’s State of Flow Componenets. Check that out for a deeper understanding of what I’m talking about.)

Experiencing this for yourself can totally allow you to be able to describe an incredible experience in a captivating way to anyone, which is especially beneficial when meeting and connecting with women. It can help you understand a girl’s emotions for example, when she is doing the things that she is most passionate about. Being able to describe another person’s experience can be extremely powerful in bringing the two of you closer together. Beyond all that though, it’s just plain good, and bloody necessary to have things you do in life that transport you to a meditation like state.

So how did this all come about I hear you thinking to yourselves. Well, for me it all started last night when I found myself on a rooftop club with complete strangers. We were all getting progressively more intoxicated just like old friends, and that lead to my hangover this morning.. and let me tell you something, you don’t want to wake up on a boat with a hangover!

Wait scratch that.. this story began sometime around a year ago, when I bought my first skateboard at the age of 35. It was odd because I’d never skated in my life, never thought it was cool, nor had I ever been interested in skateboarding in the least. That was until a year ago. I stumbled around on it for a while, and after an intense week of boarding around parking lots late at night I got what I can only describe as heel splints, kind of like shin splints only in my kicking heel. Then I wiped out on it gouging bloody holes into the palms of my hands. I got better at it, but really only skated to starbucks on the odd occasion.

Why did I start skateboarding at 35? I just wanted to. You see I have a tendency to buck the system, to do whatever I feel like doing, or at least learn about and try new things. I hate the idea of being limited by other people’s opinions.. or by my age, or any such other ridiculous things that have an annoying tendency to restrict our lives. Mutterings of “social programming” flutter across the room.

Skating around, wiping out, and getting my infamous ‘heel splints’ definitely lead to some wonderful interactions with women. From joking about me just getting my first board at 35, to asking them if there is such a thing as heel splints as an opener. It made for fun conversation. It was definitely a plus with younger women, and I always like to let younger girls know my age in a casual way early on. Thus it never weirds them out later.

More accurately though it’s a longboard, and when stood on it’s end comes up to my chest, so as longboards go it’s a pretty long longboard. Try saying that with a mouthful of cheerios. Arizona really isn’t that conducive to longboarding around town so it’s been sitting in my garage gathering dust for months now. That’s my excuse anyway. (JDOG shifts his eyes tellingly.. they dart to the ground)

This Trip Cost Me Nothing

OK so back to my story. On Thursday afternoon I was all packed for my California road trip, and just before leaving, I saw the longboard sitting there all forsaken. It just seemed so.. lonely, and I paused for a moment to remember the fond times we shared together. I said, “fuck it! You are coming with me!” I placed it on the passenger seat and we headed to San Diego.

Point to point the drive took me roughly 7 hours, and included 30 minutes driving through my first dust storm. Happily travelling 80 mph one minute, and then a second later having thick waves of sand slamming into your car aint fun, especially when another second later you realise that you can’t see ANYTHING.. no road.. no other cars.. no nothing. I actually felt a pang of panic hit my stomach knowing that at any moment I could be heading into some mangled pile up. Of course I slowed down, put on the fog lights and was fine.. but if you’ve never driven through a real dust storm on a highway it’s definitely an experience.

Whenever I arrive in San Diego I feel good. Having left 100 degree Arizona heat behind, I welcomed the cooler air, and continued to the marina to my friend’s boat. Yes sir I’m staying on a 47ft motor yacht for the next few days before heading up to LA. How cool is that!

Yesterday afternoon we were having a beer on my friend’s neighbor’s yacht, which seems like the daily activity around here. His 20 year old daughter was with us (grin), and invited me to join her friends on the town. They turned out to be a totally cool bunch that took me from dive corner bar to rooftop club, overlooking the baseball stadium. Once in the club though I joined another group of complete strangers, who I closed out the place with. Very fun and unexpected night on the town. My new best friend became the actress Michelle Ewin.

Flash forward back to this morning. “Uugghh.. I feel like crap.. and why is the room moving up and down.. shit I’m on a boat with a hangover.. I hate hangovers.. and right now boats are not on my favorite list.. uuuggghhh.” A glass of water, 2 advil, a shower, and a queazy skateboard ride to starbucks.. some phone calls.. coffee.. a pastry.. and ok feeling better now.

Since arriving at the marina I’ve been skateboarding all over the place. The long boardwalk makes it the perfect place. This morning was different. I put on my noise isolating headphones, selected a playlist from my iphone, and started skating. All of a sudden I was in my own personal sound bubble, and was literally gliding. I think I left earth for a minute.. on a figgin skateboard. I carved back and forth, whizzing past people walking around on their two legs.. how old school is that.. ha!

“Sometime Around Midnight,” by The Airborne Toxic Event

I was in the zone. I had no care for anything else going on in the world. I was 100% immersed in the moment. I think that I might have actually been kind of dance-boarding to the music. Is that even a term? Not a flattering visual perhaps, but I had absolutely no feelings of self-consciousness. It was really like being on some kind of drug, only better. So this is Flow. I guess it’s been a while. How long has it been for you? Perhaps it’s time for you to find your one thing that transports you to your own state of flow.

This reminds me of a guy I met a few weeks ago at a new skatepark in Tucson, Arizona. He was a short middle-aged fellow, who was sporting some heavy duty pads, and a helmet. He skated a pretty scary 15ft bowl. Only the old timers dare skate that thing, all of whom wore pads. You literally got butterflies in your stomach just standing on the edge looking down, let alone skating it at speed whilst getting air off the coping.

We spoke to him afterwards, and asked him what it was like. “It’s like heaven,” he said. “It’s heaven,” he repeated. I joked to my friend, “Wow.. I wish I did something that feels like heaven.” Well he was really describing being in the zone. It’s a universal experience. Recognize it, do it, and try explaining it to someone else. Then ask her what she does that transports her to this place.

Related posts:

1. How To Be More Interesting

picking up a girl while she's driving

“Picking Up A Younger Woman While She’s Driving.”

I was exchanging stories with a friend recently on the topic of how we met some of our girlfriends. If I could bottle my friend’s attitude and sell that to you I would definitely make a fortune. He is what most people would call a “natural,” as in he’s a natural with women. Just having lunch with him the other day he couldn’t help himself flirt casually with the sexiest woman that walked in.

He wasn’t distracted from the conversation. I didn’t feel like he was mentally in another place. You know when you are trying to talk with someone and they are obviously not present. He just intuitively made a comment to her as she walked past us to the counter. She smiled back, and he picked it up again as she was leaving. It’s this kind of natural and casual ease that I try to instill in my students.

For sake of privacy let’s call my friend Ron. Okay, so ‘Ron’ used to work in the airline industry, and needless to say that delving into his many encounters would take quite some time. Honestly, some of his stories from those days may be too outrageous even for my readers! What follows however is how he met his last girlfriend.

He had just come out of the gym looking a tad disheveled, when he spotted a rather attractive woman walking briskly across the parking lot. There was no time to catch up to her as she was getting into her convertible, and driving away.

Ron’s gym is situated inside a resort hotel, and there was a shortcut through the hotel that allowed him to walk to the hotel entrance before she had left the parking lot. He literally makes a run for it! Having arrived at the entrance/exit just as she was pulling up at the stop sign, Ron casually walks past her car, initiates the chat with something innocuous such as, “perfect weather for driving with the top down.” He gives her that natural confident, and slightly cheeky smile of his. She agrees, and maintains good eye contact with him, but then starts to drive off.

So with nothing to lose Ron shouts after her, “Hey if you’re not doing anything later then I’ll be in Fox’s having a drink tonight about 8′o clock.. I’ll be there anyway tonight, you should stop by. She shouted back about having to be somewhere and not sure what time she would be back. He repeated, “Fox’s at 8.. I’ll be there anyway!”

She drives away.. he walks off.

As it turns out he ended up with other plans that night, and forgot all about going to the Fox bar & restaurant. The next night however, he does just happen to stop off there for a drink. It’s early evening, a few groups of people dotted about the bar. Ron scans the room confidently while walking in. Just who do you think happens to be there.. the mystery woman from the parking lot. She was talking with not one, but two gentlemen. The three of them standing at one of those taller bar tables.

Good old Ron wastes no time at all. Mystery lady was facing away from the door so she hadn’t seen him. Ron walks past the table as if he hadn’t noticed her. He walks past on her side, opposite side from the two guys. When he’s just barely past the table he looks around at the people as one naturally might.

Her eyes dart up for a brief moment, but that was all he needed. He stopped, and gave her a slightly puzzled look. You know that look that you give someone when you think you recognize them. “Wait.. I know you,” he says with a smile. “From the parking lot, right? How was your outing?”

Ron confides in me at this point that he really didn’t expect her to remember him as when he chased down her car in that parking lot he was in ratty old, sweaty gym clothes. Whereas now he was dressed pretty smart for the evening.

The first thing she retorted was, “So where were you the other night?” Apparently, she had actually turned up at the bar sometime around 8pm! By this point he had walked up to the table, and was leaning against it talking directly with her. Just ignoring the other guys. Ron kept chatting with the lady, and they had an instant date. The other two guys walked away shortly after Ron joined the table.

Following that encounter they ended up in a relationship for almost a year.

By the way.. he’s 52!

I think this is an excellent example of a natural’s direct approach. To wrap up I’m just going to point out some of the differences between “indirect game” and this natural direct type of approach. Neither way is necessarily better than the other. It really depends upon the circumstances and logistics of where you meet the girl in question.

You will also find that some approaches tend to work better for you personally. My advice is to open with both ways a large number of times until you develop that sense for what works best in a variety of situations. Discover what works most consistently for you.

To further differentiate Ron’s style from a “trained” pickup artist.. He was direct and confident the whole time. He definitely exudes a sexual masculinity that women pick up on, from his subtly cheeky smile to his sexual gaze. You can see him undressing her with his eyes, but not in a creepy way.. in the right way, that women instantly pick up on.

There were no crazy stories reiterated to the woman, no false opinion opener, no false time constraint. He didn’t open the obstacles when at the bar, instead ignoring them completely. This is in essence the confident direct and natural approach.

Related posts:

1. The “I’m an Expert” Opener
2. I Need Your Fucking Opinion? ..Come On!
3. Day Game vs Nightclub Game

This is a preview of a 2-part 40 minute series for my newsletter readers. If you want to view the rest of this video then signup for the newsletter at ASKJDOG.com.

I am breaking down some of the finer points of sexual flirtation, when meeting and dating women. I keep things in simple terms, and show several real life interactions with an old girlfriend of mine. Watch for the natural flirtatious flow back and forth between the two of us. In fact you may want to watch this several times.

Sexual escalation is a combination of leading from casual comfort & superficial flirtation.. to more intimate touch, and an interaction that progresses with a more sexual tone. This sexually charged flirtatious dance is a natural process. Whether it’s more playful in nature as is often the case with my personality style, or more intense in nature that is perhaps more James Bond.. the underlying principles are the same.

• Use of language to sexually tease, make her laugh, or imply sexual themes.
• Notice her response, even very subtle positive indicators are a green light.
• If her response is positive (she gives you an indicator of interest, such as laughing, holding eye contact, initiating touch, flicking her hair, etc.) then touch her in a confident and comfortable manner. You could tell her something interesting about women’s rings or fingers, while demonstrating on her hand. This can be very sexy, and yet very safe and comfortable.
• Roll off to allow a brief cool down moment. This maintains a woman’s level of comfort. It is also part of the natural sexual dance that should flow back and forth in the mating game. This is also a moment of reflection on her part, albeit subconscious on how much she enjoyed your touch, how excited she was, how turned on she was, and yet how comfortable she is around you. She wants more. It becomes a moment of anticipation.

This little process repeats and you are now sexually escalating. Of course the danger is to progress too far in an inopportune place, such as the bar or coffee shop where you meet for the first time.

Why is progressing too fast, even with maintained comfort, generally a bad thing? I don’t know if you’ve ever met a girl in a club or on a dance floor, and made out with her, or perhaps did the bump and grind thing on the dance floor. Only to have her flake on you and never see you again.

If you progress too far then a woman is able to get powerfully sexually validated in an exciting public environment, while staying in her safe zone. She is safe because nothing is actually going to happen with you there. Women will do this even when they are not particularly attracted to a guy, and therefore have no intention of seeing the guy again from the get go. Alternatively, they may actually like you, but once things progress too far in that location the thought of seeing you again can make her feel awkward. If this happens she may avoid further contact with you.

Many guys miss these principles of progressing things in the right manner. Acting like a horny dog by pushing forwards with more aggressive touchy feely behaviour, often leads to the girl feeling discomfort. A women can be attracted to a guy one minute, and then turned off the next if she feels he is not connecting with her. If she senses he is only interested in her as a sex object. The exception being women looking for a one night stand, or some more overtly sexual women such as exotic dancers perhaps who don’t necessarily value emotional connection.

Related posts:

1. Self Esteem & Sexual Communication
2. Day Game vs Nightclub Game
3. Direct Opener By A Natural

Impromptu phone conversation with a friend to help him get over some sticking points. Prior to the television show, “The Pickup Artist” he was getting great reactions from women using a canned routine stack.

After the show he hasn’t been opening to the same extent, and has not been getting the same good reactions. He has anxiety now because the material he used to use was to the most part given away on the show, and he is afraid of getting busted. He wanted to start talking to more girls again, without any fear of being busted as a PUA. He also wanted a more natural approach.

This is the first 40 minutes only. There was a 2nd part lasting another 45 minutes, however the audio was missing so it couldn’t be used. In the 2nd part we went into more depth working through his new routine stack more natural routine stack.

Related posts:

1. Day Game vs Nightclub Game
2. Dealing With Approach Anxiety
3. I Need Your Fucking Opinion? ..Come On!

During the last few weeks I was in Chicago speaking to a seminar room full of women (truly amazing!), appeared on Chicago’s top talk radio show.. then spent 2 weeks in LA pitching new show concepts to several of the largest production companies currently in television… stayed in LA for fun (even met a bunch of movie stars), and networking, hung out with Mystery, Matador, Tara, Neil Strauss, and some of the guys from The PUA2.. aaannnddd then back to filming and editing for your viewing pleasure.

Where have you been JDOG? Whew it’s been a crazy last 4 months.. First I was teaching in London with Dr. Paul (amazing!) then I stayed in England for a month seeing old friends, and family. It had been 4 years since my last visit. Next I moved, so most of that month was packing moving, and unpacking again.

Music by HardLeft a thoroughly modern rock band! these guys rock please check them out!

Topics Covered

Special Edition: 
Introduction To Sexual Communication

• How we feel
• Using Language
• Kino Escalation
• Balance of Emotions
• Vibes & Archetypes

In “I Touch Myself” we start a journey to investigate the building blocks of Sexual Communication & Masculinity.

I know that when a girl is not around me that she fantasises about me, and often times even touches herself while thinking about me! It certainly isn’t because of my looks. In fact it’s only been happening in more recent years since I truly started to feel and think differently about myself.

Once you truly like who you are as a person, once you are happy with what you do in life, and speak with conviction and passion.. and when you can look yourself in the mirror and believe that you are attractive, loveable, and deserving of a women’s affection.. when you add value to a woman’s life, both in and out of the bedroom.. when you are relaxed and confident that you don’t need anything from anybody else.. then you will find yourself communicating in a more sexually confident way.

Ok, so for some of my readers out there this may seem like an impossible task, or an overwhelming suggestion, or perhaps you are thinking, “Yes! This is Exactly how I want to feel about myself.” The good news is that there are steps you can take, and I intend to help you. Realise though that this is not an instant process, and many things feed into your self esteem and masculinity. Yes, I’m talking about the building blocks of your Self Esteem, and Masculinity here, because that is what will truly empower your sexual communication with women.

Masculine Sexual Communication Is a combination of several things, such as; how you feel about yourself, your vibe, using your language to excite her emotions, using your touch to make her anticipate being touched by you again, rolling off to convey that you are willing to walk away, and are non-needy, which in turn makes her feel much more comfortable with you.. such that she allows herself to become more turned on by you.

Failing to understand Sexual Communication is one of THE biggest mistakes I see men make, when trying to meet and attract women. Learning external skills for kino escalation, and routines is fine and dandy but without coming across with the right kind of sexual vibe, without sub-communicating real masculine sexuality, it’s unlikely that there is any real sexual tension taking place.

Now, consider what it would be like if you radiated out masculine sexuality.. no.. not in some NLP.. mind control, or kooky visualisation way.. but simply in the unspoken subtleties of your communication. If you feel confident and happy with what you are doing in life, if you actually like yourself, and if you have thoughts in your head that women like you upon meeting you..

..then something magical happens. You find that without even trying, without even thinking about it.. you start to communicate slightly differently, but these nuances have a powerful effect in how she feels about you. Because you feel better about yourself you will come across unrestricted, you will glance up and down her body, not in a needy, wanting, creepy way, but rather in a way of confident appreciation of feminine beauty.

Just like Daniel Goleman writes about in “Emotional Intelligence,” she will feel your emotions to some degree.. our brains have evolved to emulate the emotional state of those around us. She will feel a sexual confidence, and she will become more sexually excited, and interested, yet comfortable at the same time.

This is when those external skills really pay off. Your verbal teases, your touching, and rolling off, the sexual dance of one step forward and two steps back. I will be honest with you, this isn’t an easy combination of things to learn.. but once you communicate this way women will love you, and the best part is that you will just be you, without thinking about what tactic to run on her!

Live Life with Love and Passion,

JDOG!

Related posts:

1. Sexual Escalation Through Kino & Flirtatious Teasing
2. Find Something Beautiful About Yourself

Yes, the 115 ° Arizona heat is getting to me, and in this episode I’m going a little crazy.. erm.. like an ape? 

Some great content for you, and I’m spicing things up a little this week, so I hope you like it. I’m covering several different topics, and you get to see how I am when hanging out with a girl.

Filmed at La Bocca urban pizzeria & wine bar on Mill Avenue in Tempe, Arizona.
 

Topics Covered

• The Opposite Effect
• Transitioning
• Shit Tests
• JDOG & Girl
• Sexual Misinterpretation
• The Virtual Map

In “Going Ape” there’s a little bit of everything, although no homework exercises in the video this time.

I don’t think that I need to write too much about this one, tho I am curious to read your comments regarding the format of this video. In the next episode I’m planning on delving into just one topic for the entire half hour, possibly comfort game, or charismatic storytelling. 

A simple concept such as The Opposite Effect can actually get you consistent flirtatious responses. In fact, from my experience creating the right first impression can be one of your most seductive abilities, and it is often overlooked. Remember that women categorize men rather quickly into a “yes” “no” or “maybe.” 

Well I don’t know about you, but if I’m not instantly a yes in her mind then I’d sure like to be placed in the maybe category, by creating a little sexual tension early on. 

Obviously there’s a lot more to these topics than I have time to cover in 30 minutes.. perhaps that’s why I’m planning on setting dates for my Charismatic Attraction workshops soon… *grin* 

Cheers.. J!

Related posts:

1. Sexual Escalation Through Kino & Flirtatious Teasing

Just the 1st video.. a little impromptu, and lots more on the way!! 

Whew.. Finally I have the first video up for my newsletter readers, or perhaps I should say viewers. My apologies again for the delay, especially to those of you who signed up early and have been waiting quite some time. Creating these videos is a new experience for me, and just like anything new there are some teething problems.

First off I want to thank you for taking an interest, as without all of your requests and questions I really don’t know if I would have taken the time to work on this. However, the more time I spend the more I realize just how much knowledge and experience I have to talk about. I’m extremely excited by what’s in store for you in upcoming videocasts, with demos, and girls, it’s going to blow you away! 

For sticking with me I have another surprise. In my website intro I said that I was going to give you 1 free hour of video.. well I’ve changed my mind, I’m not going to give you 1 hour, there will be more, lot’s more! Most likely I’ll stick to this format of about 20 to 25 minute clips.. and please remember to post your comments below. 

In this clip I’m casually talking about some of my thoughts on using indirect game, opening, and the differences between meeting women during the day, and at night. I often talk about my natural conversational style, while warning people about the dangers of being too scripted. However, I am a strong proponent for using routines, and a routine stack in certain situations. Routine stacks ‘will’ improve your game. 

Now here’s the caveat; There are some serious issues with becoming too scripted. For example guys who resent, or do not have respect for women use routines (long after the initial flirtation) as a method of control, and as a mechanism for avoiding any real emotional connection. If your goal is the psychological control of women then please unsubscribe from my list. 

I’m trying to encourage you to become a well rounded individual, who leads an interesting life. Someone that is confident and comfortable in social situations, and that women just find drawn to. For many of us the only way to get better with women is from a heck of a lot of in-field experience, feeling the way with canned routines. I encourage this, and will teach you how to make routines work for you. What I will also teach you is how to be interesting in any conversation, and how to have a natural social vibe, while conveying the right kind of male sexuality that drives women crazy with desire! 

Now, remember to have some FUN out there.. make those women smile, and enjoy the ride! 

JDOG

Related posts:

1. Using Routine Stacks To Pick Up Women
2. Sexual Escalation Through Kino & Flirtatious Teasing
3. Coffee Shop Day Game Save My Sanity!