It’s all too easy to pick fault with ourselves, whether that’s by second guessing our decisions, or by dwelling on our insecurities. I’ve been writing lately about various aspects of Inner Game, from dealing with Approach Anxiety to pushing through the discomfort of rejection.
On a similar track my mind was day dreaming today about a certain woman. Pondering the beauty of a woman is an all too easy pass time for me. From the soft lines of her face, to the allure of her eyes.. her full lips that I can’t stop thinking about.. I kept glancing at them when she was talking to me. Her smooth skin.. the curves of her body. Deep breath…….aaaannd continue.. In fact if we didn’t have to talk to each other I could happily have a conversation in my own head while gazing at a woman’s beauty.. hmm and I could quite easily do that right now, so before I completely lose my train of thought here.. What does she see in me? What can she see in me? Does she have to like my physical looks? Can she feel these types of feelings towards any aspect of me? ..and perhaps most importantly.. Do I like me?
What is there about me that she can find beautiful in some way, if I were to look through her eyes, and listen through her ears? This doesn’t have to be about physical looks either. However, I am of the opinion that once you start connecting with someone, you do start to change the way you see them to some extent. Your perception of their beauty actually changes. If you really connect then they appear more attractive to you overall, and you feel more comfortable in their company. On the flip side, when someone’s personality is off in some way, or they fundamentally conflict with your core values, then you may perceive that person as less attractive. Can you think of times in your own life when either of these were true? Take a moment to think about this, before you continue to follow along with what I’m saying. Read more
I was having an interesting chat with one of my wings recently. He said that I was unusual in the way that I stuck with learning, and practicing even when I wasn’t getting the results that I wanted. He said that from his time in the community most guys will get disillusioned and quit. He put it stronger by saying that most guys just can’t deal with getting emotionally pummeled on a regular basis from all of the rejections. So they quit before ever getting to the point where they actually start to “get it”, and they never really see consistent positive results.
So I described to him my motivation to keep going. It wasn’t a strong desire to have sex with swimsuit models, although who wouldn’t want that. Yes, wanting hotter women was a factor, but not the factor which kept me going. Read more
When I teach workshops I talk about many ways to deal with approach anxiety. Here are 10 quick tips on how to stop approach anxiety.
- Act Like It’s A Game – When an interaction is over, just hit the reset button, and try again. You learn and get further in the game each time you hit that reset button. A game should be fun, not emotionally weighed down. Your out there to have fun, and other people’s reactions are unimportant.
- Remove The Outcome – For some it helps to remove the outcome. By this I mean that they initially (while learning) should have only one goal, and that is to enjoyably learn from the interaction. Others may want to keep their eye on the ball by challenging themselves to get further, such as by setting a desired outcome in their mind before opening. That might be to bounce the girl to another venue, or to simply initiate some sort of touch during the conversation. Read more
It has been almost 3 months since my last confession blog post, forgive me for I have sinned been distracted by life’s unpredictability. These past few months have been a difficult and trying time for everybody, in such the depressed and turbulent global economic environment that we find ourselves in. I’ve spent the better part of this time stopping the bleeding of my own finances, and making the decision that it is finally time for me to leave Arizona.
I discovered something today, and without wanting to sound new agey or anything like that, I’m just going to come out and say it. I found Flow. OK, so not my “One Thing” in life to pursue in order to reach complete happiness ala City Slickers LOL… no, but profound non the less.
It’s really a rediscovery that in one small moment you can go from being just ok, just emotionally normal or average, to being transported instantaneously to a place where you are at complete peace, completely content, and experiencing true blissful happiness. Hyper-focused in the moment. To go one step further I feel this should be an intrinsic experience where you are doing something, not where the outcome or good emotions are Read more
“Picking Up A Younger Woman While She’s Driving.”
I was exchanging stories with a friend recently on the topic of how we met some of our girlfriends. If I could bottle my friend’s attitude and sell that to you I would definitely make a fortune. He is what most people would call a “natural,” as in he’s a natural with women. Just having lunch with him the other day he couldn’t help himself flirt casually with the sexiest woman that walked in.
He wasn’t distracted from the conversation. I didn’t feel like he was mentally in another place. You know when you are trying to talk with someone and they are obviously not present. He just intuitively made a comment to her as she walked past us to the counter. She smiled back, and he picked it up again as she was leaving. It’s this kind of natural and casual ease that I try to instill in my students. Read more
This is a preview of a 2-part 40 minute series for my newsletter readers. If you want to view the rest of this video then signup for the newsletter at ASKJDOG.com.
I am breaking down some of the finer points of sexual flirtation, when meeting and dating women. I keep things in simple terms, and show several real life interactions with an old girlfriend of mine. Watch for the natural flirtatious flow back and forth between the two of us. In fact you may want to watch this several times.
Sexual escalation is a combination of leading from casual comfort & superficial flirtation.. to more intimate touch, and an interaction that progresses with a more sexual tone. This sexually charged flirtatious dance is a natural process. Whether it’s more playful in nature as is often the case with my personality style, or more intense in nature that is perhaps more James Bond.. the underlying principles are the same. Read more
Impromptu phone conversation with a friend to help him get over some sticking points. Prior to the television show, “The Pickup Artist” he was getting great reactions from women using a canned routine stack.
After the show he hasn’t been opening to the same extent, and has not been getting the same good reactions. He has anxiety now because the material he used to use was to the most part given away on the show, and he is afraid of getting busted. He wanted to start talking to more girls again, without any fear of being busted as a PUA. He also wanted a more natural approach.
This is the first 40 minutes only. There was a 2nd part lasting another 45 minutes, however the audio was missing so it couldn’t be used. In the 2nd part we went into more depth working through his new routine stack more natural routine stack.
During the last few weeks I was in Chicago speaking to a seminar room full of women (truly amazing!), appeared on Chicago’s top talk radio show.. then spent 2 weeks in LA pitching new show concepts to several of the largest production companies currently in television… stayed in LA for fun (even met a bunch of movie stars), and networking, hung out with Mystery, Matador, Tara, Neil Strauss, and some of the guys from The PUA2.. aaannnddd then back to filming and editing for your viewing pleasure. Read more
Yes, the 115 ° Arizona heat is getting to me, and in this episode I’m going a little crazy.. erm.. like an ape?
Some great content for you, and I’m spicing things up a little this week, so I hope you like it. I’m covering several different topics, and you get to see how I am when hanging out with a girl. Read more
Just the 1st video.. a little impromptu, and lots more on the way!!
Whew.. Finally I have the first video up for my newsletter readers, or perhaps I should say viewers. My apologies again for the delay, especially to those of you who signed up early and have been waiting quite some time. Creating these videos is a new experience for me, and just like anything new there are some teething problems. Read more