People love party tricks. Perhaps you’ve been to a party where someone’s party trick is so much fun that it contagiously spreads until everyone is doing it.. kind of like my ex-girlfriend Lisa.. haha just kidding.. no but seriously if you get the chance you should totally do Lisa!
At some point in your life you must have been at a party where no one could find a bottle opener, which sucks. Nah.. it’s an opportunity! You get the chance to show the girls just how ingenious you can be. Counter tops and table edges are always an option. Give onlooking women a spike of bad boy danger-attraction when you butt the edge of the bottle cap against a table, and proceed to slam your hand down on top of it. WHAM!
Though sometimes you get wood chips in your beer, or worse still mark the table. You are so money doing this though, and women love it so who cares. You’ll drink those splinters and not complain. I always preferred to use a key to prise the top off, which curiously makes me look nerdier than I already am.
So gentlemen, I present to you the ultimate.. the best.. the coolest way to open those beer bottles in front of your doe-eyed prey. For want of a better term.. drum roll please.. I present to you, “The ring bottle opener trick” ..that will totally allow you to.. go Criss Angel on her ass!
I learnt this from a chap at a private event in LA one time, who with one swift motion slid his hand over the top of a beer bottle, and as if by magic the cap popped off in his hand with that all familiar sound you get when opening a beer.
No bottle opener was in his hand, and even I thought it was cool. This was a regular bottle, not one with a twist off cap. I can tell you’re impressed.. ok you had to be there, but it is cool I promise. By now you must be sitting there reading this agog, asking yourself how such a thing was possible.
The trick is that you open it with the edge of your ring. Some rings are better suited to this than others. Preferably a cheap steel ring with a band width of at least 2-3 cm, and thin enough to be able to hook underneath a bottle cap, but strong enough not to break. An expensive ring might get scratched or even bent doing this.
Best to have the ring on your middle finger, to get more grip. Using your index finger for this could lead to injury. Yes! Just like Criss Angel you could tell people that this is extremely dangerous and this time you might get really hurt.. in fact, if this goes wrong it could be your last stunt ever.. you might die doing this!
Let’s go through the steps, and then I’l let you in on another little secret.
- While flirting with your spectator offer her a beer. Or just say, “Damn it! I’m getting you a tasty ass motherfucking beer.. trust me you’ll like it.”
- Hold the bottle as if you were going to open it with a bottle opener. I would suggest in your left hand if you are right handed.
- Bring your right hand over to the bottle, cupping your fingers over the bottle cap.. ensuring that the edge of your ring is pressed tightly against the underneath of the bottle cap, hooking under it.
- With one swift and firm motion move your right hand upward, following the same trajectory as if using a real bottle opener.
- Casually hand the beer to the girl. She should now be in awe of you, and making out should quickly ensue.
In the event that blood gushes from your hand then it most likely means that the nasty sharp edge of the bottle cap slashed your finger apart. This is an unfortunate but predictable turn for the worse. You could play this could, hand her the beer anyway, and ask if she’s into vampire play. It may be best to seek medical attention at this point, and for the record; I highly advise you to never try this dangerous and stupid, albeit uber-cool party trick, and remove myself from all liability that may result from your irresponsible and stupid behaviour. Jeez what were you thinking?
Now for The Secret that I promised. Not to be confused with that all too popular Secret, which should probably change it’s name to “It’s Not Such A Big Secret Anymore.. But It’s Still Good.” The secret here is that you don’t have to use a regular ring! Nope, you can use a trick ring like the one somewhere to the right in that Amazon box, which so magically and conveniently appeared for you. Now go forth to parties and conquer.. Shazam!